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We appreciate your heart, Maggie. Now stop messing with people’s minds/rights/marriages/shared nations!

NOM Exposed Right-wing

Like it or not, telling people your sexuality is a “disability” is a contributing factor to the kind of mental state that pushes so many young people off the edge.

Also, the Facebook wall message looks slightly cut off at the margin, but the text is all there -Adam

Cross-posted at Good As You

By Jeremy Hooper

Maggie just left this comment on the NOM Blog:

Screen Shot 2010-10-01 At 1.23.39 Pm


(H/t: Clark Mitchell)

First and foremost: I totally believe her. I think the vast majority of us know that Maggie Gallagher does not wish harm, much less death, on anyone. In fact, I don’t believe that she even wishes mental anguish on anyone, having truly bought into the talking points from her movement which detach the actions from any kind of hurtful intent.

But here’s the thing: It doesn’t matter what Maggie personally thinks about what will or will not resolve tragedies like the ones we’ve seen this week. It doesn’t matter how heartfelt her personal condolences may be. What matters is the body of her professional work with NOM and elsewhere, and the fallout that we gay folk all-too-well know can stem from these “culture war” activities! Because it is this bias cultivation that changes the molecules in the air. It’s this anti-civil rights work that puts heterosexism into everyone’s psyches. It’s this fear-fostering that foments a world where LGBT people are viewed as different, wrong, or in some extreme cases — unworthy of life.

The thing about loose lips: They can sink ships. So too, loose interpretations of who was and was not born into the right sexuality!

The reality is that none of us have ever grown up in a world where the full population is free to live as they were formed. A very big and undeniable reason for this is the far-right’s “culture war” against gay people’s lives and loves. A “culture war” that Maggie Gallagher has been a part of for decades now. This writer knows: I’ve read through her archives more than just about anyone. I’ve seen the stigmatizing comments, like in 2001 when she referred to homosexuality as a “sexual dysfunction” whose reparative therapy deserves research dollars:

5/14/2001, Maggie uses Dr. Robert Spitzer’s study in a way that goes against his own wishes and findings:I believe there is rather powerful evidence that human beings are a two-sex species, designed for sexual rather than asexual reproduction. If this is true, then the absence of desire for the opposite sex represents, at a minimum, a sexual dysfunction much as impotence or infertility. Human beings seeking help in overcoming sexual dysfunctions deserve our respect and support (and may I mention, President Bush, more research dollars?).” [Source]

Or in ’00, when she presented gays as abnormal members of the species:

3/20/2000, Maggie defends Dr. Laura:In a simple biological framework abstracted from all religion and morality, homosexuality is like infertility. It is a sexual disability preventing certain individuals from participating in the normal reproductive patterns of the human species.” [Source]

Or there’s the pure callousness that comes with “humorously” likening gay people to castrated domestic cocks:

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

[*SOURCE: Iowa’s WHO radio, Jan Mickelson’s show]

I’ve heard and seen so much from Ms. Gallagher. Much more than I’ve ever even published. Did Tyler Clementi also experience it? Did Raymond Chase? Did Seth Walsh? Did Asher Brown? Did Billy Lucas?

Well, I of course don’t know how familiar any of these five young men were with Ms. Gallagher or NOM. But again: Their personal familiarity with this one “culture war” person doesn’t matter! Because what I do know without a shred of doubt is that all five were familiar with the ol’ fashioned mental torture that the “pro-family” community so aggressively fosters (sometimes unwittingly, sometimes not so much). And I know that when given the choice of fostering civil peace, Ms. Gallagher instead chose to defend exclusion. That certainly didn’t help matters.


  • 1. Ronnie  |  October 3, 2010 at 9:03 am

    She has a "heart"…..?…. : / ….Ronnie

  • 2. Kathleen  |  October 3, 2010 at 9:07 am

    just scribin.

  • 3. rf  |  October 3, 2010 at 9:11 am

    Please forgive and/or correct any factual misinformation. did my best…

    Tyler Clementi, the New Jersey resident and Rutgers student who recently jumped off the GW Bridge after his roommate broadcast a romantic encounter between Tyler and another man, was born 19 years after the American Psychological and American Psychiatric Associations officially declared homosexuality to be completely normal.

    Tyler was 1 in 1993 when his federal government signed Don't Ask Don't Tell, forcing LGBT Americans to lie in order to die for their country.

    Tyler was 4 in 1996 when his federal government signed the Defense of Marriage Act banning LGBT Americans from all rights and recognition of their marriages, should any state grant them, by the United States of America.

    Tyler was 6 to 8 in 1998 and 2000 when Alaska, Hawaii, Nebraska and Nevada adopted state constitutional bans on marriage equality for LGBT Americans

    Tyler was 11 in 2003 when the US Supreme Court struck down all laws criminalizing homosexuality in Lawrence v. Texas.

    Tyler was 12 in 2004 when President George W. Bush, in reaction to marriage equality in Mass., declared on TV that America must pass a national Constitutional ban on marriage equality for LGBT Americans. 11 states decided not to wait for the federal government: Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon and Utah adopted state constitutional bans on marriage equality for LGBT Americans.

    Tyler was also 12 when his Governor, Jim McGreevey, signed the domestic partnership law in New Jersey. That same year, Governor McGreevey, in the closet for 47 years, stepped down from office because of an extramarital affair with a man.

    Tyler was 13 in 2005 when Kansas and Texas adopted state constitutional bans on marriage equality for LGBT Americans.

    Tyler was 14 in 2006 when the Federal Marriage Amendment, banning marriage equality for LGBT Americans in the US Constitution, was approved by the US Senate Judiciary Committee and brought before both houses of Congress. It was defeated before it got to a final vote.

    Tyler was also 14 when Colorado, Tennessee, Alabama, Idaho, South Carolina, South Dakota, Wisconsin, and Virginia adopted state constitutional bans on marriage equality for LGBT Americans.

    Tyler was 16 in 2008 when Arizona and Florida adopted state constitutional bans on marriage equality for LGBT Americans and when California attained and then lost marriage equality through Prop 8.

    Tyler was also 16 when Chris Christie, the man who would become Tyler's governor declared that he would veto any bill that crossed his desk affording marriage equality to New Jersey LGBT citizens. Christie also announced he would lead an effort to add a NJ Constitutional Amendment banning marriage equality for LGBT New Jerseyans if marriage equality was ever granted.

    Tyler was 17 in 2009 when Maine voted to ban the marriage equality for Maine LGBT citizens their legislature and governor enacted.

    Tyler was 18 in 2010 when Prop 8, Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and parts of the Defense of Marriage Act were all struck down by Federal judges as unconstitutional bans on LGBT American's rights.

    Three months after those cases were decided, at 18, Tyler took his own life, allegedly after horrendous mistreatment by a bully.

  • 4. Richard W. Fitch  |  October 3, 2010 at 9:16 am

    She should be held as complicit in ANY death of ANY LBGT(…..) youth which can in ANY manner be traced to the animus of the Culture War which reduces us to second-class citizens and the subsequent dehumanization which this allows.

  • 5. Kathleen  |  October 3, 2010 at 9:21 am

    The Rights Equal Rights site has a visual.

  • 6. Kathleen  |  October 3, 2010 at 9:21 am

    Better link (directly to the post)

  • 7. Richard A. Walter (s  |  October 3, 2010 at 9:25 am

    Maggie, grow up and get a life so that you can stop messing with mine!

  • 8. Michelle Evans  |  October 3, 2010 at 9:25 am

    Maggie talks of "ugly and mindless cruelty," then she performs that exact cruelty every day in what she chooses to do for a living. She makes money on the idea of denying our equality–and humanity.

    She tries to point out that it is not just LGBT people who are bullied, and this is absolutely true. The fact she neglects however is that it is about four times as likely that someone who is LGBT will be bullied over someone else–and about the same amount over other students who will attempt–and unfortunately, all too often, succeed at suicide.

    She is one of the most outspoken people against LGBT equality, so she MUST own up to the fact that she is a prominent and potent source of the bias directed against us. She is part of the problem, and people die because of her, her organization, and what she does. Period.

  • 9. Sagesse  |  October 3, 2010 at 9:32 am

    And me.

  • 10. JonT  |  October 3, 2010 at 9:39 am

    same here, will catch up later.

  • 11. Buffy  |  October 3, 2010 at 9:42 am

    She doesn't have a heart. She has a dessicated lump of pure evil.

  • 12. Linda  |  October 3, 2010 at 9:48 am

    Cyber-bullying? Definitely.

    Not an anti-gay hate crime? Are you kidding me? Would the bully have even made the video if Tyler were having a straight sex encounter? Has the bully made other videos of 'straights'?

    Come on, Maggie….open your eyes just a little, here. Have you really brainwashed yourself so effectively that you honestly can't see the truth anymore? Do you really think that your push for the restrictive definition of marriage as solely referring to 'one man, one woman' has no repercussions? Do you sincerely believe that your animus towards LGBTs in the context of marriage and family will have no direct or indirect influence on people's perceptions of LGBTs in general?

    Do you not realize that by negating the legitimacy of our relationships by consistently referring to them as merely sexual, you are devaluing us as human beings? You are asserting that we are incapable of forming relationships and creating a family.

    You label us as wrong; you label us as sick and in need of curing; you label us as sinful and in need of saving. You label our love as shameful and in need of hiding.

    Perhaps you do not condone this type of bullying, but you cannot absolve yourself of your contribution to that bullying. And you certainly cannot change the motive behind that bullying to asuage your guilt.

  • 13. Carpool Cookie  |  October 3, 2010 at 9:52 am

    Maggie Gallagher has serious blood on her hands.

    And what is her organization doing now, but continuing to harass and bully gays and lesbians?

    She and her followers have never grown up.

  • 14. Sagesse  |  October 3, 2010 at 9:57 am

    Sanctimonious – Making a show of being morally better than others; hypocritically pious; Holy, devout

    That's Maggie Gallagher.

  • 15. Roger  |  October 3, 2010 at 10:00 am

    So when is there going to be a class action libel suit against people like her again?

  • 16. Felyx  |  October 3, 2010 at 10:03 am

    Just what are you getting at RF?

    I suppose we are to believe that Tyler, unlike the majority of teenagers, was completely politically savvy, was up to date on ALL judicial decisions, was able to remain stoically logical (despite hormonal changes) in the face of constant gay-bashing…

    I am older and far more aware of these things and still got fired from my job two years ago for being gay and was completely determined to suicide… Papa Foma came along and really spoiled my plans.

    Unless you are willing to concede that gay-hate and gay-bashing is real and deadly, then all your facts amount to highly well read ignorance.


    Beware the intellec-troll!

  • 17. Mark M  |  October 3, 2010 at 10:14 am

    Not sure if anyone here has seen this article. I found it an interesting read…considering it came from a Yahoo news story

  • 18. Kathleen  |  October 3, 2010 at 10:16 am

    I took rf's post to mean that this history of overt and widely reported government sanctioned discrimination was the backdrop of Tyler's life.

  • 19. rf  |  October 3, 2010 at 10:24 am

    Uh, the point was that homophobia is so widespread and accepted in America during Tyler's life that he was not just a victim of his roommate's poor judgement but of his country's poor judgment.–despite decriminaliziation of gayness, normalization of gayness by the medical professions, and the unconstitutionality found by fed judges of laws against lgbt equality.

    I was going through all the major anti and pro lgbt things that happened while he was alive. He may not have necessarily known about any of these things but they affected, and were caused by, the people around him.

    People are way too judgemental here. I went to Rutgers and I was bullied. besides not being musically inclined or publicly humiliated as Tyler was, I share his story altho 20 years earlier.

  • 20. Mark M  |  October 3, 2010 at 10:27 am

    Are you implying that because of the history Tyler lived through in his formative years he should have somehow been able to deal with the heartless and hateful way he was outed to the world?
    Tyler's death is tragic and criminal. Had Tyler grown up in a world where love and acceptance was the norm, he wold still be with us. But the world Tyler and the rest of us have is a world of hate, discrimination, and fear. How each of us deal with this world is unique, and often a fragile juggling act. Tyler needed acceptance and love, not a sophomoric prank, ridicule, and disrespect beyond measure.

  • 21. Bob  |  October 3, 2010 at 10:28 am

    rf, can you clarify

    I say ditto to Kathleen

  • 22. Felyx  |  October 3, 2010 at 10:32 am

    I have to point one thing out…

    At least she is admitting there are gay children.

    "…we can try to save all our kids, gay and straight…"

    Usually she refers to us as merely homosexual and she has never referred to gays as ever being kids. The way she usually talks, one would think that we are trained as teenagers and do not become initiated until after our teen years.

    Progress coming from Maggie? Hmmm….

  • 23. Kate  |  October 3, 2010 at 10:35 am

    Very effective timeline overlap, rf – thank you.

  • 24. Felyx  |  October 3, 2010 at 10:37 am

    I hope I took it wrong… I would be annoyed if someone was trying to say that suicide is 'stupid' just because we are making such strides or that clearly it was not due to despair from gay-bashing. Such an assertion would just not be warranted right now, right here.

    If your intention was merely to enumerate the events in the last two decades, fine. Just please acknowledge that not all suiciding gay teens get the benefits of these successes right away. That's all.


  • 25. Paul in Minneapolis  |  October 3, 2010 at 10:43 am

    I think the vast majority of us know that Maggie Gallagher does not wish harm, much less death, on anyone.

    Sorry, I completely disagree.

  • 26. Felyx  |  October 3, 2010 at 10:48 am

    Thanks. I read the above comment.

    About being judgmental… not so much that as it is a touchy issue. For 30 years I have wanted to just die! Usually I would fantasize about it on a daily basis. So yes, I am quick to scrutinize unclear wording or content.


  • 27. rf  |  October 3, 2010 at 10:50 am

    Thats my damn point Mark–Tyler lived in a heartless and cruel world that actively worked against lgbt equality, during his formative years. I believe that the heartlessness expresed by his government and the majority of people around him (not just in his neighborhood but across his country) may have affected his well being and given him a sense of helplessness that, once he was publicly humiliated and outed, drove him to suicide.

    I am saying it was much, much more than the prank that caused this. I only added the positive things in the list to show that every year there was less and less justification for the ignorance of Americans against lgbt, yet discrimination persists unabated.

    I posted this on his memorial page and the admins thanked me. But here, its like war.

  • 28. Kate  |  October 3, 2010 at 10:50 am

    I wonder how the Latinos in California are reacting to Alfonso's eastern elitist Puerto Rican accent.

  • 29. Felyx  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:02 am

    Be lenient RF, we are not admins, we are real people who have lived through the pain and hurt you are describing. Your first comment was written in such a way that your position was unclear. And because you do not comment too often it was a bit suspect. You explained yourself just fine… it's cool now.


  • 30. Anonygrl  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:03 am

    I am sorry, but I disagree with the original post rather specifically.

    First and foremost: I totally believe her. I think the vast majority of us know that Maggie Gallagher does not wish harm, much less death, on anyone. In fact, I don’t believe that she even wishes mental anguish on anyone, having truly bought into the talking points from her movement which detach the actions from any kind of hurtful intent.

    When Maggie talks, it hurts ME. I am bisexual, and she rarely even addresses that, but when she speaks and says that homosexuals should not be allowed to marry, that marriage is sacred, that the only right combination is a man and a woman, it tears me up. And I am a 45 year old woman who has long since had time to come to terms with that sort of active dislike.

    You suggest that she does not mean harm, that she does not wish mental anguish on anyone, having bought into the movement's "talking points".

    I say the woman would have to have the empathy of a sea slug… not even that much… a rock… to not know that her words and her attitudes ARE harmful and the driving force behind so much of the bullying and hatred that is causing these young people so much anguish that they are taking their own lives.

    I believe she does put on a sad face, and perhaps even tries to convince herself that she is not responsible, but by all accounts she is not a stupid woman. She has supposedly studied these things for years, has read all the literature that conflicts with her ideas (how else could she write what she does to refute it) and with all of that if she is not intelligent enough to realize that marginalizing a segment of the population is HARMFUL to that segment, then she is singularly undeserving of any accolades she may have received writing about the subject.

    If we allow Maggie to live in the lie that she wraps herself in, the one where she thinks she has nothing to do with children killing themselves because she has bought into the rhetoric, then she, and her ilk, win. And she knows it. That is what all the noise about us "oppressing religious rights" is about. If somehow we believe that it is OK for her to spout off as she does, then little by little it looks like we somehow agree with her point of view… and then WE become complicit.

    So, here is the conflict. I am a FIRM believer in free speech. I do not, in any way, sanction shutting Maggie up. She has the right to say what she will, to publish her vile thoughts, and to believe whatever she likes about the inferiority of homosexuals. But she should not be allowed to do it in a vacuum. Every time she opens her mouth, someone should be standing in front of her, talking louder. Every time she says "I love you, homosexuals" someone should say "No, it is clearly evident you do not!" Every time she makes a noise about how sad she is over these deaths, someone should say "Then stop preaching to these vulnerable kids that they deserve to die!"

    Because that is the ultimate truth of the matter. Her words hurt. They hurt directly, when someone actually sees or hears them. They hurt indirectly when Hanging Larry takes them to the step of making signs that homosexuals should be killed. They hurt when someone believes that homosexuals are inferior and makes a crass joke to his kids. They hurt when those kids think it is OK to make that joke about other kids. And then they hurt the families of those kids who can't take it and kill themselves. That this doesn't then hurt MAGGIE enough to get her to stop saying them, indicates to me that she is either the stupidest person on the planet, or, perhaps, that somewhere inside she doesn't actually care.

    Yes, Maggie, no matter how you protest, it comes back to you. They kill themselves because you, and your compatriots, think that they are not as good as you are. Every time you suggest that equality should be suppressed, you tell people that you are better than they are. And when young, questioning, impressionable, bullied, hurting kids hear that, over and over hear that they can NEVER be as good as others, the results are tragic. And they are your fault.

    So no matter what you say about your sympathy, it doesn't wash. Your guilt is not expiated by your belief in your own innocence. And I don't credit you with being so stupid that you are unaware of your own complicity in this situation. You personally did not bully these kids, but with the atmosphere your ideas foster, you might as well be handing out loaded guns to every teenager who comes out of the closet, and to every one of them who doesn't dare.

  • 31. Mark M  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:06 am

    Thank you for replying RF. I apologize for not understanding your original post. I guess I took the last line out of context.
    Again my apologyies

  • 32. Joel  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:07 am

    I noticed that as well, and wondered if it was a tacit admission that sexual orientation is not a choice. But all of her previous statements indicate that she believes it's not a choice, then it must be a disability or deformity.

  • 33. Rich  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:10 am

    So, I've been monitoring the NOM site all weekend. I have sent 3 posts, each of which have been "moderated" out of existence. In each post I identified the direct link that they have to the deaths of the 5 young men these past few weeks. They don't like this at all; clearly they are afraid to be associated with the homophobia that leads to harassment which can lead to teen suicide. I invite everyone to join me in challenging NOM and Maggie Gallagher. Go to their site; pick any one of the blogs and flood them with your comments. It's time to name them as culprits. The evil that they so often speak of is in their own ranks; we need to put a mirror to their faces.

  • 34. Kate  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:10 am

    He has to say "allegedly," Mark, or his message won't get out to the wider media.

  • 35. Lodi Gal  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:16 am

    I too have been on the NOM facebook page all weekend. I was kicked off three times (using 3 different identities), but have been allowed to post under a new moniker by being very careful. For some reason, they've allowed about six different people who oppose their views all day today. Like someone said, maybe the moderator was in church all day.

  • 36. Paul in Minneapolis  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:18 am

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for this, Anonygrl. You wrote what I didn't have time to write, and much better than I would have.

    I'd like to add to two of your points:

    If we allow Maggie to live in the lie that she wraps herself in, the one where she thinks she has nothing to do with children killing themselves because she has bought into the rhetoric, then she, and her ilk, win. And she knows it.

    Yes, she knows it. Not only that, she knows exactly what she is doing. She knows exactly what NOM is doing. And everything NOM does is intentional; nothing is by chance or accident.

    She has the right to say what she will, to publish her vile thoughts, and to believe whatever she likes about the inferiority of homosexuals. But she should not be allowed to do it in a vacuum.

    She needs to be held accountable for her words and actions. We need to see to it that Maggie, not GLBT kids, suffers the consequences of her words and actions.

    Thanks again for your excellent post, Anonygrl. It's spot-on.

  • 37. Paul in Minneapolis  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:19 am

    Nonsense. Maggie has a heart! Granted, it's made of cold lead and pumps acid….

  • 38. Mark M  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:20 am

    I love and adore you Anonygrl!!!

  • 39. Kate  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:22 am

    I was surprised to be able to post a couple of times today and not be kicked back off. But I just can't keep it up …. it's too hard to keep reading all that hatred. (That's why I also mostly skip the media posts here showing continuing and increasing ugliness – the haters get to me too easily.) But I want to give kudos to Lodi Gal for being able to continue wading through the "you have to believe in my imaginary friend in the sky" sort of posts there.

  • 40. Dpeck  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:23 am

    Thank you Anongrl. When you write posts likethis one I really wish there was some way to asure they were being read by the people who need to have their eyes opened. Please consider posting these writings wherever you can, especially where they can be read by the opposition and people in the middle.

    But I do disagree with one statement in the last paragraph – "You personally did not bully these kids".

    She often DOES personally bully these kids. Every time one of these kids reads or hears something she says.

  • 41. Carpool Cookie  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:37 am

    I agree that she wants to hurt lesbians and gays. I don't think she believes the cr@p she spews about them, but fighting against gays has become her career.

  • 42. Lodi Gal  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:37 am

    I just checked back over there, and they are all holding hands reassuring each other that they are the only TRUE Christians. It's not good enough to believe in the bearded sky god, you have to hold all the same hatreds as them as well. I'm worn down. They can't follow a logical train of thought. I'll try again in a few days with that same moniker.

  • 43. alaneckert  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:42 am

    I personally like the Dan Savage response:

  • 44. Paul in Minneapolis  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:53 am

    Why on earth would you think that Maggie doesn't believe the things she says about us?

  • 45. Michelle Evans  |  October 3, 2010 at 12:06 pm

    I think the only thing Maggie would admit is that there are kids who "think" they are LGBT. According to her, she must "save" all these kids through reparative therapy. Which is just as deadly as any bullying–in fact, that's really all reparative therapy is–bullying on a different level.

  • 46. Lodi Gal  |  October 3, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    Get over to NOM facebook and get a screen shot. There is a kid posting that he likes to torment gays and wants them all dead. Some people are defending him as just a bored teenager!

  • 47. Kate  |  October 3, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    Done. Do you need mine sent to you, Lodi Gal, or do you have copies yourself?

  • 48. Lodi Gal  |  October 3, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    I got a screen shot too. If that isn't the perfect example of the hatred that leads to bullying and violence, then I don't know what is.

  • 49. Kate  |  October 3, 2010 at 12:18 pm

    He gets worse in the comments — "final solution," and all.

  • 50. Ronnie  |  October 3, 2010 at 12:21 pm

    That same troll is on Freedom Fighters for Equality Facebook page right now posting the same shite….& I quote: Dimitris Christofias ~ "Don't you people understand that homosexuals are going to hell?"

    People are laying into him…If you would like the link…..let me know…. : / ….Ronnie

  • 51. Rhie  |  October 3, 2010 at 12:55 pm


  • 52. Carpool Cookie  |  October 3, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    Because I think she's like most other politicians. She goes where the money is.

  • 53. Paul in Minneapolis  |  October 3, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    No doubt she goes where the money is. But I still think she believes every last nasty thing she says about us. Whether she does or not, it's best for us to take her at her word.

  • 54. Rich  |  October 3, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    The KKK firmly "believed" in their cause. Doesn't make it any less bigoted or hateful.

    Watching "To Kill A Mockingbird" again.

  • 55. Bob  |  October 3, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    it's always good to follow the money trail, but in this case you can also follow the trail of blood.

    @Anonygirl's comment below, your words are powerful, you speak for me, and have come the closest yet at connecting the dots between the effects of religious beliefs, and teen suicide.

  • 56. The Reverend Canon S  |  October 3, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    It's what we call the difference between "intent" and "impact" — and the Maggie Gallaghers of the world may not intend harm but their words, their actions and their bias against LGBT people has the IMPACT of causing harm.

    Today we heard from the pulpit at All Saints Church in Pasadena the call to "fan the flames of love — not homophopbia" in a sermon by Ed Bacon.

    I'm proud to be part of a congregation that "gets" since Christians have been part of the problem of fanning the flames of homophobia we have GOT to be part of the solution.

  • 57. Carpool Cookie  |  October 3, 2010 at 1:26 pm

    It's just a suspicion I have…maybe because I find it hard to believe that anyone who's at all educated (like she is) could actually swallow the sweeping, illogical pronouncements she makes.

    I have no doubt she hates gays and lesbians…but even when you look at the people who voted Yes on Prop H8, I don't think the majority of them actually think heterosexual marriage was threatened. They simply embrace any opportunity to stick another pin in the Gay Voodoo Doll.

    These are just instinctual theories, though. I think her (and their) hatred isn't connected to any fact finding….they never needed facts before. Their hatred is deep in their bones.

  • 58. paul  |  October 3, 2010 at 1:26 pm

    As I read your post Anonygrl, I think to myself… You said it all, you said it perfectly and you said it for me. I'm with you on this in every way. There's a sense of conflict within myself regarding Maggie because I want to believe in the possibility that people like her are merely misguided. But, you bring me to my senses and sadly I must admit that she's not misguided…but chooses to be hateful and hurtful…and therefore must be held accountable.
    When Maggie's hate speech directly or indirectly results in acts of violence…she's accountable. And because she does it "professionally"…certainly she can be held to an even higher standard. She has earned herself some legal retribution for the death and heartache she has caused.

  • 59. Bob  |  October 3, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Rev Russell AMEN, and thanks for taking ownership for this religious war, hopefully the churches can get to task at fighting between themselves about their beliefs and doctrines, and NOW, like I said again in the name of religion we're experiencing bloodshed, get to task and spare our youth.

  • 60. OldCoastie  |  October 3, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    I find it very curious that Maggie has invested so much of her life into this "cause"… long before the money would flow… strange fascination for a straight woman.

    oh MAGGIE! come out, come out, where ever you are!

  • 61. Kate  |  October 3, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    I do not want that toaster oven.

  • 62. Bob  |  October 3, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    I'd just like to add Rev Russell, maybe the churches could take this religious war to the table at the Presidents Faith Based Initiatives Program for starters, and pressure him to issue a statement in response to this bloodshed in the name of religion.

    Maybe if the churches could work it out in a round table, the rest of us could get to work at loving each other and living in peace.

    I expect Obama to set his Faith Based Program to work at ending these suicides.

  • 63. Tracy  |  October 3, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    I noticed that Maggie made sure to mention in her heart-felt post that the gay marriage issue had nothing to do with Tyler's tragic demise. Of course, his situation had nothing to do with marriage, same-sex or otherwise, but she used it as a platform anyway. That says everything I need to know. She is trying to curry favor with the moderates by appearing to be sensitive to gay issues. But she is a bigot in American clothing.

    The truth is, there are many people who feel they have no way out, and that is not limited to LGBT people… but they do feel it. And their environment (thanks, rf, for the history lesson) does nothing but exemplify the prejudice against them. It is poison.

    We do our progeny a disservice by discriminating against the LGBT populace. Our children will suffer, as we have suffered from the prejudices (against ourselves and others) we have not yet conquered. If each of us is to live just one life, to ruin someone else's life due to hatred and bigotry must be the height of evil. One has to ask — isn't there something more worthy of the short time you have on this Earth?

    Forgive me please for ranting — my circumstances at the moment are tragic for me — unrelated to this argument, but I feel a kinship, just the same. All of you who are LGBT, God made you and loves you — it is the human failings — bigotry and prejudice — that hamper you. But you will inherit the Earth. The bigots will sit at the right side of …. well, nothing.

  • 64. Michael  |  October 3, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    Shrill anti-gay activist Gallagher knows exactly what she's saying and doing and she does not care. Years ago, she chose money over God and now she spends all her time and effort keeping the money coming in and trying to camoflage the ugly, plastic, homophobic Jesus she has created to justify her sin of homophobia. Because she knows when the truth gets out, the anti-gay money trough runs dry. Thus, all of her efforts, every day and moment of her life, is directed at harming us and trying to hide the fact that she is harming us. The only solution is that she repent and publicly renounce the evil she has perpetrated in the name of her false "religious belief" of homophobia. If she really cared about the young people her immoral rhetoric pushes over the edge, she would stop.

  • 65. Ronnie  |  October 3, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    I wish I new this was happening in NYC I would have gone….The admin from Freedom Fighters for Equality Facebook page posted these videos & I want to share them with all of you….The videos are from the "You Are Loved Vigil" in NYC last night to honor & mourn those innocent lives we have lost recently to bullying…Make sure you have an entire box of tissues handy…. <3…. : ' ( ….Ronnie:

  • 66. Ronnie  |  October 3, 2010 at 3:26 pm

  • 67. Ronnie  |  October 3, 2010 at 3:27 pm

  • 68. Chris From CO  |  October 3, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    I have heard her words in many speeches (as much that was provided by youtube) I don't know the lady, but when she speaks it sends a chill down my spine. I have to prepare myself for what she will say. In this case I still felt the chill I was warmed up for a minute when she sounds like she is concerened, but she stoped to short and gave herself justification for her position. So I was mad as hell at her again. Well that was short lived, Maggie keep it to yourself if you plan to justify yourself on the issues. Its not very nice.

  • 69. Bob  |  October 3, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    That picture of Maggie with blood on her hands, says needs to be seen by the world,

    The visual aspect defies , logic, and show the truth.

    make that pic go viral

  • 70. Roger  |  October 3, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    It's nice to see people here trying to be civil to Mrs Shrivistav. Civility is always nice. But why waste it on this woman? This is the founder of the organisation that was only too happy to have people like Lynching Larry and assorted preachers come to its bus tour this summer and tell the world that the Bible says that ho-mo-sex-u-als should be put to death.

    As Jesus himself says (Matthew 7:6) cast not your pearls before swine…

  • 71. icapricorn  |  October 3, 2010 at 11:11 pm

    Who cares what's supposedly in "her heart" or how "harmless" (now that's a stretch) she imagines her intentions? Actions, not words, are the measure of all things. And Gallagher's actions have condemned her to the backward and reactionary pages of history.

  • 72. Gregory in Salt Lake  |  October 4, 2010 at 12:07 am

    Dear Anonygrl, I appreciate your sharing you "heart" with us :) Love you! gregory

  • 73. phillykarl  |  October 4, 2010 at 12:25 am

    Maggie Shrivistav is crying Crocodile tears. Boo-hoo. She forces her literal biblical views of homosexuality on the public, but is just aghast when others take biblically supported actions against the LGBT community. (And make no mistake about it, killing of gays is EASILY supported by scripture.) Poor Maggie. Why on earth should she feel guilty about gays committing suicide, when all she has done is try to make sure that each and every American is aware that gays are perverted sinners?

  • 74. Hank (NYC)  |  October 4, 2010 at 1:43 am

    Hate is learned at home from the parents. Hate is learned from NOM and the other hate mongering entities: some xtian churchs, some xtians, some politicians and many authority figures. Whether they want to take responsibility or not they condone all the bullying, bashing and oppression that they are causing, supporting and trying to force onto all.

    So Maggie – own up to your responsibility. You and your hate mongering cronies have created the environment for these suicides and more.

    And you know what Maggie – it is people like you (bigotted, heartless, closed-minded hypocrites) that this Country was founded to GET AWAY FROM. This country was not created to be a Theocracy. You soap box is not a pulpit.

    Take a look at the latest reports that show how Divoce is the greatest harm to marriage – and especially in the evangelicals.

  • 75. bJason  |  October 4, 2010 at 2:01 am

    I wrote this to my mother yesterday. Each story was accompanied by a picture. The last one is me.
    Recent Teen Suicides!

    Johnson and Wales student Raymond Chase, 19, took his own life this past Wednesday. Chase, openly gay, apparently hanged himself in his dorm room.

    This past week, Tyler Clementi, an 18-year-old college student at Rutgers University, jumped to his death after finding out that his roommate, Dharun Ravi, secretly broadcast Clementi with another boy over the Internet. He jumped from the George Washington Bridge on Sept. 22. It took a week to find his body.

    Behind that big smile and lots of friends was a shy, loyal 15-year-old boy who loved to play the cello. Justin Aaberg came out as gay when he was 13 and, as his mom found out only after he hanged himself, suffered tremendously inside. In the weeks since she found her son dead in his room on July 9, Tammy Aaberg has heard from many of her son's friends at Anoka High School. They told her Justin Aaberg had been bullied and had recently broken up with his boyfriend.

    He was a teenager who didn't quite fit in. His classmates said Billy Lucas was bullied for being different. The 15-year-old never told anyone he was gay but students at Greensburg High School thought he was and so they picked on him. "People would call him 'fag' and stuff like that, just make fun of him because he's different basically," said student Dillen Swango. Students told Fox59 News it was common knowledge that children bullied Billy and from what they said, it was getting worse. Last Thursday, Billy's mother found him dead inside their barn. He had hung himself. Students said that on that same day some students had told Billy to kill himself.

    Asher Brown was a 13-year-old boy who, like most young boys, enjoyed reading, playing outside and hanging out with his dad. His mom said he seemed sad and withdrawn in the months leading up to his suicide this week and most of his sadness was contributed to bullying at school. Asher’s parents say that their son was bullied for countless reasons in addition to being gay. Asher shot himself in the head after almost 2 years of bullying. He told his parents he was gay the morning of his death.

    Seth Walsh, a 13-year-old California middle school student, died in the hospital on Tuesday (9/28/10), days after he attempted to take his own life after reportedly enduring relentless bullying. Seth, a student at Jacobsen Middle School in Tehachapi, Calif., was found unconscious and not breathing on Sept. 19 after he apparently tried to hang himself from a tree in his backyard, according to a police report obtained by The Bakersfield Californian. Friends told NBC affiliate KGET that Seth had been picked on for years because he was gay.

    [bJason]. I, more than once, came alarmingly close to being on the terrible list with these and countless other poor children. I'm not sure if you knew that. These have been in the last ten weeks! Imagine coming home one day to find that I just couldn't take, for one more day, being told that I was a pedophile, a sexual deviant, an abomination. At school, on the news, at church, by the government, on little league teams and in scout groups, in the neighborhood and at home. Couldn't take being told that I was trying to bring down society with my “lifestyle choice” and that people should fear for their children to be around me. Couldn't imagine wanting to live in a world where I would be denied the joy of having my own family, like my parents or siblings, simply because the person that I fall in love with would be of the same gender.

    I really don't fault you but I grew up believing that mine would be a miserable world and that I deserved that misery because I was possessed by Satan. No matter what I did, how hard I begged and cried and prayed and promised every day for years of my life, God would not take this “sin” from me. I suffered in silence because I could not let it be known that I was this way – that I was gay. I would not risk losing the love and support of my family and friends over something which I could not change, something for which I did not ask. Who would make a choice to face this life? Who, upon being convinced that this was a choice that could not be un-made, would want to continue living it? I didn't. I did not choose it and I didn't want to go on living because it had befallen me and I could see no other way out.

    Over the centuries, many ideals once held firm have fallen away from religious teachings. The earth is not flat nor is it the center of the universe. Women are no longer property and can now wear pants, work outside the home and speak for themselves. Slavery is not OK. People eat shellfish and wear clothes of mixed fibers. Left-handed people (like my father and youngest brother) are no longer considered Satanic. Some religions even recognize that we are all made in God's image and that homosexuality is natural. Questioning one single aspect of one's religious teachings does not require a complete abandonment of faith. You don't have to believe that I am possessed to believe in God – even though your church tells you differently.

    I have made my peace with God. I know that he made me the way I am and that I should not feel ashamed for it – anymore than I should feel shame for the color of my hair or the lineage of my birth. It took me years of doubt and sorrow but He has shown me the truth. I am not sending this to you for my sake. I am sending you this as a desperate plea for the health and happiness of all children. Search your heart. I know that you have given this issue up to God. He will grant you peace if you just ask him the right question. Here is how I found peace: “Dear Lord, should you mercifully grant me a tomorrow, please arm me again, as today, with the strength to endure those who practice hatred against me in your name and thank you for the peace of knowing that I am your child as you made me”.

    Not one more child should die for this. Look at these dead children, you must help me in this fight. Jesus is tenderly calling, TODAY!

  • 76. Kathleen  |  October 4, 2010 at 2:13 am

    bJason, I can't pretend to know what it took to write that to your mother. And my heart is heavy with the thought of the suffering you endured from the beliefs of the people whose love you wanted and deserved as a boy and young man. I truly hope you've come to a place of peace with yourself and are surrounded with people who know you and love for the wonderful person you are. HUGS and LOVE

  • 77. bJason  |  October 4, 2010 at 2:21 am

    Thank you, Kathleen. You are an angel.

  • 78. Mark M. (Seattle)  |  October 4, 2010 at 2:37 am

    Thank you bJason for sharign that with us. You spoke volumes…..I saw myself so very clearly in your words.
    I pray your mother openes her hear, mind, and soul to your words.
    Thank you so very much for your courage

  • 79. Suzanne (not for muc  |  October 4, 2010 at 2:49 am

    rf –

    You have moved me to tears. I am emailing your words to my Mom, who doesn't understand because of her fundamentalist upbringing. I hope she inches our way. I will never give up helping her understand what this means.

  • 80. Carpool Cookie  |  October 4, 2010 at 3:06 am

    [i] "you know what Maggie – it is people like you (bigotted, heartless, closed-minded hypocrites) that this Country was founded to GET AWAY FROM. This country was not created to be a Theocracy. You soap box is not a pulpit." [/i]


  • 81. Mark M. (Seattle)  |  October 4, 2010 at 3:08 am

    Thank you Rev Russell!! It is because of people like yourself that my faith may be tatered but is still intact.
    Thank you from the bottom of my heart

  • 82. Ronnie  |  October 4, 2010 at 3:24 am

    Here is another video of the vigil with a few speeches…very good HD video…. : ' ( …Ronnie:

  • 83. Kate  |  October 4, 2010 at 3:25 am

    bJason, what a beautiful and courageous letter. Your mother should be proud of your bravery. Please, please let us know her response. I love you!!!!

  • 84. Ronnie  |  October 4, 2010 at 3:27 am

    & another….a student report…of the vigil held in New Brunswick, NJ

  • 85. Suzanne (not for muc  |  October 4, 2010 at 4:00 am


    Thank you as well for such a moving piece. Sent to my Mom as well. No comment yet.

  • 86. bJason  |  October 4, 2010 at 4:16 am

    Mark M., Kate and Suzanne – thanks!

    I love you!!

    I'll keep you posted.

  • 87. Jonathan H  |  October 4, 2010 at 5:32 am

    Same here. Better late than never, eh?

  • 88. JonT  |  October 4, 2010 at 7:42 am

    @Felyx: I'm with the others – I think you misinterpreted his post…

  • 89. JonT  |  October 4, 2010 at 7:46 am

    @rf: 'I am saying it was much, much more than the prank that caused this. '

    Very much agreed. The prank was simply the preverbial "straw that broke the camel's back".

    Who among us would want to be outed in such a way?

  • 90. JonT  |  October 4, 2010 at 8:06 am

    A Standing O from me.

  • 91. JonT  |  October 4, 2010 at 8:16 am

    And a Standing O from me Jason.

  • 92. fiona64  |  October 4, 2010 at 8:19 am


    Thank you for sharing that, Jason. You are a strong and amazing advocate, and I tip my hat to you.


  • 93. The Reverend Canon S  |  October 4, 2010 at 10:54 am

    I'm back. I was still thinking about this when the YouTube of the Mormon disciple started making the rounds and so I wrote a new blog … Why the Mormons, the MFC & Maggie Gallagher are WRONG! … which included in part a response to Gallagher's assertion that the absence of gay marriage doesn't hurt our kids.

    "And here's why she's wrong. Here's where the PRESENCE of gay marriage — or more arguably of "marriage equality" — could in fact be exactly the sign of hope and health … of a future worth living for and aspiring to … that could rescue these children from the message that they are inherently unnatural, abnormal and broken.

    The visible witness of gay and lesbian couples given equal respect through the equal protection of civil marriage also gives to LGBT youth the model of healthy relationships we want all our children to know and understand they can strive to live into as they grow and mature into the adults God created them to be."

  • 94. Are you an anti-LGBT cons&hellip  |  October 5, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    […] (courtesy of Jeremy’s clip). I’ve been reading commentary from folks like NOM’s Maggie Gallagher, The Washington Post’s (and now CNN’s) Kathleen Parker, Colson and others more than I […]

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