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Moments that make voters care about marriage equality

Marriage equality

By Adam Bink

Good morning, and welcome back from a long weekend. How was yours?

Over at BeyondChron.com (an SF alternative news publication), Jim Burroway has an interesting piece on things to remember for potential ballot campaigns in California and Maine next year. He writes:

Schubert understood that if voters didn’t care about marriage — which most of them personally don’t have a stake in – they could be made to care about something else. That something else in both California and Maine turned out to be education. And so California and in Maine, Schubert took an election about something nobody cares about (gays being allowed to marry) and made it about something that everyone cares about. Again, Karen [Ocamb] quotes Schubert with the a-ha moment:

What the research showed was that we could not win by simply affirming traditional marriage. People said, ‘Yeah, OK – but what’s the problem here. How does this impact me?’…. This forced acceptance [by the court] that gay marriage was now mandatory was a big deal – the consequences – specifically regarding religious freedom, religious expression and teaching of gay marriage in schools – and the education consequences become the most powerful in the course of the campaign.

We bet the campaign on consequences – especially on education. Education from the beginning – while it was one of three consequences – it was the one that was the most emotionally charged and the most powerful. And I remember testing an ad in focus groups in Southern California….[One ad was} with the Wirthlin couple from Massachusetts. She’s telling the story of her son Joey – about he’s being taught how a prince can marry another prince – and he’s in second grade.

There’s an African American gentleman in this group watching the ad [who] just shakes his head. So I [told the researcher to] ask him what he meant. And the guy says, ‘I’ll tell you what, if that happened to me – I would be pissed.’

And that was the moment that we decided that the campaign would rely on education.

And so our opponents found an issue that would spark an emotional reaction that makes voters care enough to vote no… or vote at all.

It got me thinking about what our “moment” or issue would be. Jim points to one — Arizona’s Prop 107 concerning marriage and civil unions in 2006, the only one concerning marriage that failed, because LGBT proponents pointed out that the domestic partnership provision would affect straight people (e.g., two sisters living together). A narrower version concerning marriage later passed, but the point is that our side was successfully able to argue that the initiative went too far and voters became concerned that they would be affected.

Other “moments” I see:

1. Jobs. One of the more compelling arguments I’ve used, anecdotally, in New York State has been how many jobs would be created by legalizing same-sex marriage, especially in economically depressed areas like Western New York. People nod their heads. It may not be the most pure argument, but it works.

2. Someone you know. The same goes for mentioning how one’s niece, or son, can’t do this or that without equal access to marriage, even with the most bona fide civil union law in the country. This, of course, tends towards personal stories about how under a civil union law, the legal partner was still denied access to his loved one in the hospital, resulting in a potentially life-threatening situation. Then, it becomes personal for the voter.

What do you find compelling?

85 Comments

  • 1. _BK_  |  July 5, 2011 at 7:19 am

    Back from my trip, and so glad to see such good news! I will be simply a lurker for a while, but I will be here.

  • 2. Ғĕłỹҳ  |  July 5, 2011 at 7:22 am

    I think the most compelling would be focusing on my children. I want an ad that shows our sons and daughters asking why their parents are forced to stay separated and even deported. I want underknowledgeable people to see what is happening to our families!

  • 3. Bill S.  |  July 5, 2011 at 7:27 am

    The "education" argument is really just a repackaging of the "they're gonna come into our schools and recruit our children!" argument of the 1970s.

    Pro-equality campaigns shouldn't be afraid to confront this and counter with the benefits of a society where no one is marginalized. Focus on high-school level education and the message anti-gay ballot initiatives send to gay teens and their tormentors.

  • 4. Ғĕłỹҳ  |  July 5, 2011 at 7:28 am

    On that note, I want to see an ad that shows bullying and how it affects our children in schools. Then show concerned same-sex parents facing a teacher who says, "How can I teach right from wrong when I am prevented from even teaching the truth?"

    If children are going to be made to be pawns by the opposition, then let us show them what is happening to their pawns; let us bring the focus back on real children who experience real consequences from the actions of the opposition!

    /rant

  • 5. dsc77  |  July 5, 2011 at 7:43 am

    I think that many who believe this point will not be convinced by our denials that we'll "teach the children teh gay." Their thinking is "Well, of COURSE they'll deny it!"

  • 6. Ronnie  |  July 5, 2011 at 7:52 am

    I find testimonies like this compelling……subscribing & sharing….

    Meet Marsha & Louise, 1of the 7couples involved in the lawsuit against the state of NJ to bring FULL Equality. Marsha & Louise have been together for 22years, have raised four children & persevered through the tragic loss of one son that no parent should have to live through. My heart is with this amazing family…… <3…Ronnie:

    [youtube yVPbhLEJauw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVPbhLEJauw youtube]

  • 7. Str8Grandmother  |  July 5, 2011 at 7:54 am

    I think the best ads would be simply to get the Head of the State Department of Education to come on and say, "We are not going to teach about gay blah blah blah. When you see ads that say the opposite they are only meant to scare you. Are you going to fall for that, I am the head of blah blah blah" Follow that up with many ads of the Superintendent of every single school District in Maine saying the same thing. Maybe I would make it a Liar Liar Pants on Fire type of ad.

  • 8. Thom  |  July 5, 2011 at 8:08 am

    Absolutely.

  • 9. truthspew  |  July 5, 2011 at 8:10 am

    What the bigots really focused on was the ick factor. That allowed them to manipulate the emotions of the voters.

    I've seen it in play with relatives. They cannot think past what two men or two women do in the privacy of their own homes. That's where we get the standard "parts don't fit" arguments. To paraphrase John Corvino, yes in fact the parts do fit!

  • 10. Ann S.  |  July 5, 2011 at 8:21 am

    §

  • 11. Ron  |  July 5, 2011 at 8:23 am

    I agree, we have to confront the "education" ads head on. Something like a respected ed official saying sitting in a classroom, " do you remember being taught about marriage in school? How about abortion? Laws concerning assault weapons? Of course not, school don't teach these things. That's not to say that such laws don't play an important role in monitoring adult activity, it's just that teaching the legal landscape isn't the job of schools. All parents teach their children their values at home, not at school. Don't let anyone scare you into believing same-sex marriage will be taught in school. It's just a smoke screen trying to use parental fears to justify bigotry. Pure and simple. "

  • 12. draNgNon  |  July 5, 2011 at 8:47 am

    here – http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2011/06/gay_righ… – is what I find compelling:

    The suit outlines how William Keith Heimann’s health insurance policy dropped his two children and his 25-year partner, Thomas Davidson, after a contractor conducting an audit "questioned whether they had adequate documentation of their relationship." The lawsuit says it took months to reinstate the policy, even though Davidson and Heimann were in a civil union.

    The suit also outlines Danny Weiss’s struggle to make health care treatment decisions for his civil union partner, John Grant, after Grant was struck by a car in New York City.

    "Despite their civil union, doctors and hospital staff did not recognize their legal relationship," the suit says. "Discussions with doctors and other hospital staff about what a civil union meant, and whether it was ‘like marriage,’ took place as John was suffering from a brain hemorrhage."

    Eventually, hospital staff summoned Grant’s sister in Delaware to help make decisions.

    seriously. answer fear with fear. it will resonate with people – bring up the spectre of being denied access to the most important person in your life who is in the ICU – the inability to get your partner and kids covered with health insurance – you do not have to be LGBT to relate to these situations; just unmarried.

  • 13. Thom  |  July 5, 2011 at 8:59 am

    I agree!

  • 14. Gregory in SLC  |  July 5, 2011 at 9:01 am

    lovely video :*|

    …our children learned that "difference" is ok….

  • 15. AnonyGrl  |  July 5, 2011 at 9:01 am

    Part 1
    I would rather celebrate the fact that a school taught kids that having two mommies or two daddies or an aunt or an adopted family or foster parents are ok.

    The book in question, King and King, is a light hearted fairy tale that tells kids that different families are ok. I hate the fact that the right has turned it into the supposed kama sutra of gay sex for five year olds. Five year olds don't want to know the mechanics of gay sex any more than they would want to know the mechanics of sex between the prince and the little mermaid. At that age, it is simply a story about two people who fall in love, and that is all it needs to be.

    I say that parents should worry about the really important controversial issues their kids might learn about in school. Like whether the earth is really more than 6000 years old.

  • 16. AnonyGrl  |  July 5, 2011 at 9:02 am

    Part 2
    So how about a commercial that celebrates different families?

    In as close to the same set up as the King and King commercial as can be managed, a kid comes home and says "Mom, guess what I learned in school today? I learned there are all different kinds of families."

    Junior continues in voice over as the scene cuts to show proud kids introducing their families to the classroom, posters reading "FAMILY DAY!" in the background.
    "Sarah brought her mom and dad…" and we see a smiling girl standing in front of mom and dad.
    "Joe has two daddies. He says he is lucky cause they both like baseball and make great peanut butter sandwiches." Joe and dads show off his new baseball glove.
    "Eric doesn't have a mom, but his dad and sister live with his grandparents!" Dad and younger sister watch Eric hug grandparents.

  • 17. AnonyGrl  |  July 5, 2011 at 9:02 am

    Part 3
    We see other kids with other families, adopted parents and siblings of different races, someone in a wheelchair, and so on.

    Voiceover: "Not all families are the same, but all families deserve the same rights and protections. Support Marriage Equality."

    Cut to Junior, hugging his mom, and his other mom walks in and joins the hug.

    Voiceover: "Call your representative and ask him or her to vote yes on Marriage Equality today."

  • 18. LCH  |  July 5, 2011 at 9:15 am

    This is exactly what needs to be done. Inoculating against the fear is crucial and our side should not be afraid to call out the lies.

    ♀♀=♂♂=♀♂=∑♡

  • 19. Sheryl_Carver  |  July 5, 2011 at 9:19 am

    I agree, Felyx.

    The anti- group does a terrific job of hooking people's emotions, especially fear. When we are scared, most of us stop thinking & go straight (no pun intended) to reacting. And for most normal folks, fear that something bad will happen to our children is probably the greatest fear of all. That's why total strangers, not just fire fighters & police, will rush into burning buildings to save a child.

    Our ads have got to work on an emotional level, not just on a rational one. AND they have to address fears people have for their own children, not just ours. Let's face it, if any of us thought that an action would help someone else's child, but would actually harm our own, we would choose to protect our own child. Normal behavior of just about any living being.

    I'm not a psychologist, nor a marketing expert, but maybe having real straight-ally parents talking about what impact marriage equality has had (or NOT had) on their families, what their children are REALLY being taught in MA & other marriage equality states, & how they feel about it. And how it supports them (the parents) in teaching their children to understand that not everyone's family is exactly the same as theirs, but that's OK.

    I'm probably not saying this well, but hopefully you get the idea. Some people are not going to be moved; we all know that. But those who would be able to rationally think about it, as long as they aren't being frightened out of their wits by fear-mongering, can become supporters.

  • 20. Michguy  |  July 5, 2011 at 9:30 am

    You really should show your example to all of the nationwide lgbt groups and try to also get them to put adds on tv using your example…. I urge u

  • 21. Ronnie  |  July 5, 2011 at 9:40 am

    Meet the Reitan family from Minnesota. Randi & her husband Philip have four kids, 3boys & 1 girl. Their youngest son, Jake, is gay & they support his freedom to marry the man he chooses to spend the rest of his life with…… <3…Ronnie:

    [youtube AcJCSqaQ6Uw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcJCSqaQ6Uw youtube]

  • 22. David Henderson  |  July 5, 2011 at 10:00 am

    Just last night, Josh and I watched For the Bible Tells Me So, and they were one of the featured families in the documentary.

  • 23. Bob  |  July 5, 2011 at 10:02 am

    hoping Sagesse posts the latest from Ontario,, where the right for schools both protestant and catholic to have gay straight alliances has been enshrined into law,,,, it happens at the students request,,,,

    it's one thing to change the law, but it's quite another to change an attitude, that should begin in the home and extend deep into the community, including schools….. well written article and great stance on the issue….

  • 24. Bill S.  |  July 5, 2011 at 10:36 am

    Or in the same vein, a child comes home from school saying that she learned "a prince could marry a prince, so could I someday marry a princess?" (which was used as a Yes-on-8 commercial). Instead of the mother looking surprised and disgusted, she hugs her daughter and tells her that if she turns out to be gay, it would make no difference to her and she would love her just the same.

  • 25. Waxr  |  July 5, 2011 at 10:41 am

    Being my age, I have heard the education argument before. It was popular back in the 1960's when the issue was school integration. The argument was that by integrating schools the number of inter-racial marriages would increase, and that schools would even teach that it was OK. Then I would be asked how I would like my daughter to marry a black man. They never waited for an answer.

  • 26. Thom  |  July 5, 2011 at 10:51 am

    Years ago I declared myself "son" to my Godfather who had surgery and was in the ICU. No-one knew we were both gay. No-one asked. There must have been problems that caused all their caution — maybe fear of being sued. If people accept SSMarriage, maybe some of that fear will go away.

  • 27. karen in kalifornia  |  July 5, 2011 at 10:59 am

    Forget the jobs things. That's hardly compelling at all compared to the "they're coming for your children" meme. I mean really. I agree hit education "straight" on. Get highschool kids to talk about the need for GSA groupls ie bullying. And definitely illustrate how the children in GLBT families are made second class also just like their parents. Would you want that for your children?

  • 28. Thom  |  July 5, 2011 at 11:05 am

    I agree. Your daughter should NOT marry a black man… if she is lesbian!!!

    (To those who would ask a stupid question.)

  • 29. Waxr  |  July 5, 2011 at 11:24 am

    When Abraham Lincoln ran for the Senate in 1858 Stephen Douglas accused him of wanting to marry a black woman. When Lincoln ran for re-election in 1864 the Democratic party put up posters showing a black man kissing a white woman.

  • 30. Ray  |  July 5, 2011 at 11:58 am

    I'd love to see an ad asking a little girl if there are consequences if two princes could get married – she looks thoughtful, giggles, claps her hands and squeals "and they live happily ever after" Yea! Back at them!!

  • 31. Jon  |  July 5, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    What if they decided people like you couldn't get married?

    That's the compelling one for me.

  • 32. Sheryl_Carver  |  July 5, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    Yes! Yes! Yes!

    Decades ago my mother, 60+ at the time, & I had a discussion about this. She said, "if being gay was OK with people, couldn't your brother decide to have a boyfriend if he saw another boy had one, even if he wasn't gay?" I replied, "well, if he wasn't gay, he'd pretty quickly decide that wasn't for him & he'd try to find a girlfriend. & if it was OK to be gay, it wouldn't matter to anyone, would it?" Mom quickly saw the logic in that. Too bad so many other people are unable to figure that out.

  • 33. Ғĕłỹҳ  |  July 5, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    It is true Sheryl, fearmongering is indeed a hateful tactic to be sure. If fear is to be employed then I suggest we make a powerful statement showing real consequences resulting from real hatred.

    Scene fades in to a couple making very hateful and derogatory comments about gay people. As they talk the camera pans into the back bedroom where the son is pulling a gun out of the parents bedroom closet and looking intently at it. We fade out as we hear the man comment that gays should die. With a black screen we hear a gunshot. Cue the anti-hate message.

    I do not like to play on peoples fears so if people are going to fear something, we should give them something real to fear. (Not made up fairy-tail stories about schools and the end of civilization as we know it.)

  • 34. AnonyGrl  |  July 5, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    OK,,, visualizing that one…

    A man is sitting with someone… we only see the shoulder of the other person. Obviously they are holding hands, and he is very upset.

    Man: They voted against us. Maybe we could go up to Canada? I know.. we can't afford it.. but.. I want to marry you! I love you! There must be something we can do!

    Camera pans out and we see that it is a woman he is holding hands with and she looks just as sad.

    Voiceover: What if they decided people like YOU couldn't get married?

    The camera pans down to the couple's clasped hands. A title appears "Support Marriage Equality".

  • 35. AnonyGrl  |  July 5, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    OK… you people are filling me FULL of ideas today… so here is how I see this one going….

    Tom and Dad are out fishing… and having "The Talk". Dad is obviously very uncomfortable with some of Tom's questions.

    Dad: I just don't think it is right, them teaching you kids about "different" families in school It will give you ideas!

    Tom: Dad, when YOU found out about homosexuality, did YOU start experimenting?

    Dad: (flustered) NO! Of course not!

    Tom: Why not?

    Dad: (upset, a little angry) Because I am not gay!

    Tom: (with a smile) Neither am I, Dad.

    Dad looks taken aback and doesn't know how to respond.

    Voiceover: Trust your kids. They are smarter than you think.

  • 36. AnonyGrl  |  July 5, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    That is a good one. Very powerful imagry, and it draws the line from A to B very clearly.

  • 37. davep  |  July 5, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    Dang, Anongrl, you are FULL of great ideas today!

  • 38. LD1  |  July 5, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    I can think of lots of compelling points that might make people care about FEDERALLY recognized civil marriage equality and/or repeal of DOMA:

    (a) Surviving member of gay couple loses his home because the federal estate tax exemption does not cover him.
    (b) Spouse must pay federal income tax on the "imputed income" of getting benefits for his partner, resulting in $7,000 due in extra taxes annually.
    (c) Spouse deported because federal immigration laws do not recognize their relationship.

    I think major education needs to be done on these points. I am always shocked to learn that very educated straight people living where I live (NYC / NJ area) are not aware of these facts and have no idea what "DOMA" is. Many of the people I talked to (again, educated, straight people in NYC) actually thought NY Marriage law would be recognized federally and allow equal federal benefits. People have no idea!

  • 39. EqualityNow!  |  July 5, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    I agree with AnonyGirl, Powerful Imagery, but suicide is something which exposes the "cowardice" (as awful as that may sound) of gays, and coud cause skeptics to question what the ad is really trying to say, you know? It's really complicated to make a completely effective, ad; we need like a national movement to put ads like this on primetime ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, etc.

  • 40. Martin the Brit  |  July 5, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    I really like this idea. You've turned 'The Talk' on its head. It's also very true; this generation really is going to end up educating their parents by the looks of it.

  • 41. Martin Pal  |  July 5, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    Having sat through the months of ads about Prop 8, I can tell you that appealing to the intellect under a “fairness” guise doesn’t seem to sway anyone. There was a ballot initiative the same year about treating animals more humanely before slaughtering them. The ads showed animal after animal in distress. Voters responded to that. We need something similar. Show gay people in distress. Show attacks against gay people. Show what the effect of being told you are “less than” does to people. It hurts. It makes us cry. It makes some commit suicide. It makes some people bash us or kill us. Be on the offense. If the “other side” wants to refute those ideas let them try it. They will look like bullies. The pro-prop 8 ads put the no on 8 side on the defensive and trying to counter them with “it’s not true” or “be fair.” It’s the OTHER SIDE that needs to be on the defensive. Do an ad where you quote NOM idiocies and make it seem if you vote their way you are stupid, too. Above all, do not be afraid of offending the other side. They are not worried about offending us.

  • 42. Leo  |  July 5, 2011 at 9:34 pm

    To play the devil's advocate, NOM's response to this will be, "Should Eric's dad be allowed to marry his grandparents then? There are (unfortunately) different types of families, but only the one ideal type deserves public encouragement."

    Yes, we should counter the notion that it's bad for children to learn about different families, including same-sex parents. But not, I think, argue that marriage equality follows directly from that.

  • 43. Sheryl, Mormon Mom  |  July 5, 2011 at 11:46 pm

    You are right, LD1, people have no idea. I am one of the educated people who had no idea. I took the time to check out California's Domestic Partnership laws when Prop 8 was put on the ballot. I have a gay son but didn't understand why marriage was such a big deal when there were domestic partnerships. Once I started learning, I changed my mind. It is a big deal and only marriage will confer all of the rights and respect that gay, lesbian, and transgender couples deserve.

  • 44. Str8Grandmother  |  July 6, 2011 at 6:20 am

    Thank you Ronnie

  • 45. Ronnie  |  July 6, 2011 at 6:52 am

    You're welcome…. ; ) …Ronnie

  • 46. PoxyHowzes  |  July 6, 2011 at 8:32 am

    I think the religious angle needs to be pushed HARD. That's the religious filks like many methodist ministers in Maine who would marry SS couples if the State allowed them to. Need to push two ideas: there are many clergyfolk who will perform even "bless" marriages, and the state is blocking them.

    Sure, NOM will parade some religious bigots across the screen who will invoke the word "abomination," but until now, that's all we have had from the religious side, no back and forth, no second point of view.

    Presbyterians will already perform SSM, Methodists are rumored to officially change doctrine this summer, UCC pioneered religious inclusiveness, some Episcopalians will, some Jews will — that is a loyt of people whose rights are being trampled by NOM supporters.

  • 47. PoxyHowzes  |  July 6, 2011 at 8:33 am

    and a lot of typos. filks = folks ; loyt = lot

    Sorry

  • 48. AnonyGrl  |  July 6, 2011 at 10:03 am

    The reason I see it this way is that this is DIRECTLY in contrast to the pro-Prop 8 push… they claimed that learning about other types of families was a threat, and the reason to vote against equality. I wanted to negate the connection by turning it completely around.

    I would hope that even NOM would not be stupid enough to try "Eric's dad will marry his own parents!" as a strategy, but you are right, since one of their "slippery slope" points is that people will marry their housepets, who the hell knows what idiotic things they will say. Sigh.

  • 49. Maggie4NoH8  |  July 6, 2011 at 10:23 am

    OOOOOHHHHH! That's goood AnonyGrl!!!!

    Why the hell isn't there a Courage Campaign Fund (encumbered) for AnonyGrl's commercials Adam???? LOL

  • 50. AnonyGrl  |  July 6, 2011 at 10:24 am

    OK… this one will never make it to the air… but here goes…

    Outside the county office building a preacher is rabidly stirring up his very small group. The few of them hold signs saying "God HATES equality!" and "Gay Marriage is a Slippery Slope!" and such. The camera moves inside and we are standing in line at the county clerk's office, in front of a window marked "Wedding licenses". A kindly older woman behind the window beckons the next couple to come forward. Two men in tuxes approach, hand in hand, and there are smiles all around as they give her money and are handed a license. She beckons to the next person in line. A man comes up to the window and puts a large potted plant on the shelf. The pot is all decked out in white lace, and there is a veil draped over the top of the plant. He looks expectantly at the clerk. She gives him a look of complete disbelief and just shakes her head no. We cut to the gay couple, who look back over their shoulder at all of this and laugh at the man and his plant in frame behind them.

  • 51. AnonyGrl  |  July 6, 2011 at 10:24 am

    part 2

    Voiceover (very disbelieving and sarcastic) Really? THIS is what you think is going to happen if these two get married?

    We cut back to the man and his plant still at the window with the clerk. He hugs and smooches the plant in a very showy fashion, to prove his love.

    Voiceover: (still incredulous) SERIOUSLY?

    The clerk very firmly indicates NO. The camera pans to the line, where people stand holding dressed up lawn chairs, computers, pussy cats, etc. All of them look crestfallen.

    Voiceover: The arguments against marriage equality are all this ridiculous.

    We cut back to the gay couple leaving together, obviously in love with each other. Outside the door of the office, friends and family wait. As they emerge, a child jumps into the arms of her daddies, and confetti is thrown over the happy family.

    Voiceover: Support loving families. Support marrige equality.

  • 52. Robert  |  July 6, 2011 at 10:25 am

    I love this one!!!

  • 53. Sheryl_Carver  |  July 6, 2011 at 10:50 am

    Another winner, AnonyGrl!

    Seriously, please consider submitting these ideas to all the LGBT-supportive organizations that are producing TV ads. Your ideas are powerful, true, hook emotions (in a good way), & effectively address all the anti- garbage out there!

  • 54. Angela  |  July 6, 2011 at 10:56 am

    ARGH I can't believe this :( I just spent about an hour writing a reply to this, made sure everything was filled out and I get an error saying that I had to fill in the required fields. I'm in no mood to spend another hour typing everything over again. So mad cause Chrome usually remembers posts.

  • 55. fiona64  |  July 6, 2011 at 11:04 am

    This is one of the reasons I love Ireland's "Asking for Sinead's Hand" marriage equality campaign, which shows a young man in a suit and tie knocking on a door. A middle-aged man answers and he says "I've come to ask for Sinead's hand in marriage." The man assents … and then we see the young man go to several different houses asking for the same thing.

    The tag line? "How many people's permission did YOU have to seek before marriage?"

  • 56. Maggie4NoH8  |  July 6, 2011 at 11:15 am

    IF I was a rich man, I'd produce AnonyGrl's writings (from afar of course – a yacht in the Caribbean perhaps?)

  • 57. Angela  |  July 6, 2011 at 11:40 am

    Well I'm trying again but I'm a bit downhearted about the error.

    Anyway yesterday morning I stumbled across a documentary on LOGO called Ten More Years (or a similar title). It was about gay senior citizens and the challenges that they had to face. I found it very compelling and informative. It pointed out issues that had to do with equality that I never thought of, such as death benefits to surviving partners. Because they couldn't get them, many of these partners ended up homeless after the death of their partner. I was so saddened by that. I think that's an issue that I will use to further the discussion of marriage equality and equality for the LGBT community in general. My mom is against same-sex marriage, but she cares DEEPLY about senior citizens. She worked as a home health aid/registered nurse for many years. I'm certain that if I pointed out some of those issues to her she would at least think twice about her position on marriage equality. She's also passionate about healthcare. My father had an affair with another woman, and when my mom found out she had an affair with another man who later became her husband and the other woman became my father's wife. Well, the marriage with my mom and stepdad is/has always been rocky. My stepdad has a strong (but thankfully nonviolent) temper. He verbally abused us for YEARS. I can't tell you how many times I BEGGED her to just GET A DIVORCE and make our lives better. But she wouldn't. Why? HEALTH INSURANCE. She's diabetic, so she couldn't have gotten any on her own, so she lives on his. So much for marriage being about love, huh? Anyway that's another issue I can use to further explain the need for marriage equality.

  • 58. Angela  |  July 6, 2011 at 11:41 am

    (I'm actually nowhere near finished in my rant LOL and I apologize in advance)

    Here in PA the rights of LGBT citizens isn't a really talked-about issue. Being homosexual/transgender is still very taboo (especially the latter). I have a friend whom I've been trying to educate ever since I met her a few years ago. She's my home health aid (I have a heart condition and am partially blind and receive services from the state to assist in my daily living, that's how I met her). We have yet to talk DIRECTLY about marriage equality, but so far, she agrees that the LGBT community should have MOST of the same benefits/rights as the straight community. I'm educating her on these issues including marriage equality by watching films and TV shows with LGBT characters/plots. I watched Brokeback Mountain with her and shared my emotional experience of seeing it in the theatre. But we never discussed homosexuality at that time. I didn't know what to make of her opinion on the film so I chose to let it be for now. I met her family shortly afterward and was disgusted by how immature they were and ill-educated regarding the LGBT community and issues. They would laugh at the idea of two people of the same gender kissing/holding hands, let alone the idea of them having sex. It is obvious to me that to this day they have yet to meet a single person who is part of the LGBT community.

    After Brokeback Mountain, because the 2008 Oscars had just occured, I watched Milk with her. Again, we did not REALLY discuss the rights of LGBT citizens. I got her interested in the show The Dead Zone. Now, most of the characters/plots have heterosexual themes, but there are a few I can recall offhand that include LGBT characters/plots. One in particular I was nervous as hell to watch with my friend and her 15yr old daughter. *sigh* In this episode, the main character is abducted and held captive by 3 women who want to make a documentary similar to The Blair Witch Project focusing on the mysterious murder of an entire family with the exception of a young boy who then disappears. In this episode, two of the women are in a romantic relationship, and it is later revealed that one of them is in fact transgender, and not only that, but the boy who disappeared from that very house after murdering his family. I DREADED watching this episode with them, because I KNEW they did not have the emotional maturity to handle it. They treated it as I knew they would; as a comedy. I purposely took a long bathroom break and heard them laughing through some of the scenes which I knew had to involve the couple kissing/being romantic. After the break I spent another 20mins getting a glass of ice water from the kitchen. I just didn't want to be in the room with them when they watched it because of that attitude. When the twist was revealed, they were horrified, not that the character was a murderer, but that he was transgender. My friend tried to explain to her daughter what that meant, and I knew she didn't really know, so I took over and explained the truth about it. They still didn't like it, but at least they had a better idea of what being transgender actually is. *sigh*

  • 59. Angela  |  July 6, 2011 at 11:42 am

    (still going! So sorry guys I'm just so compelled to write all this)

    Overall, what I use to help others understand LGBT community/rights is the media. I am a movie buff, and I always get others interested in movies that they wouldn't normally have seen. So that's what I've been using to help my friend and her family be more educated regarding the LGBT community. I've also managed to comment, speak up, more, instead of leaving the room like I did with that episode of The Dead Zone. I realized as I explained to them what being transgender meant, breaking down their preconceptions, that it is better to SPEAK than to be SILENT and let those opinions go unchallenged.

    I had an incident with my friend's oldest son when we went to see the movie Pandorum. We asked what he thought of it, and he said "It was gay." I couldn't stay silent on that LOL. I said "I always HATED that phrase." He protested, "But it was!" I said "Well, when you have FRIENDS who are gay…" and I trailed off, letting him make the realization that that was why I said that. I don't see him often but there hasn't been an incident like that since, with him at least.

    My friend's husband used the F word in a conversation regarding a man's wardrobe at last year's Regata. He said "What kind of f– do you have to be to wear something like that" and then quickly said "Excuse me Angie." I gave him a Look and said "THANK YOU" in a tone that showed that I did NOT appreciate the use of that word.

    In an effort to further educate my friend and her family, I've gotten them ADDICTED to Glee :) they LOVE it (at least my friend and her daughter do) and they haven't seen the second season yet, but they LOVE the character of Kurt :):) who is my favorite as well despite being stereotpyical. I love how powerful/serious the second season is, and when I get it on DVD I will share it with them and I know it will make them think.

    I think they MAY be starting to come towards acceptance, or some form of understanding/tolerance. When I had dinner with my friend and her other son joined us, we spoke about my online friends. This particular area is not a very diverse one, but I have online friends all over the world, of many races/nationalities/sexual orientations. Most of them are part of the LGBT community, and I relayed that fact to them. They were pretty interested in hearing about my friends in general, which made me feel great. I told them how two of my friends came out to me online (very humorous anecdotes and bittersweet ones :D) and talked about how long some of them have been with their partners and how some are still searching for their soul mates and have never had a relationship yet.

    Yesterday, my friend's daughter and I had a very stimulating conversation about racial prejudice and diversity. It was wonderful to hear a 15 year old so passionate about this issue. In this conversation, I relayed an anecdote from the panel show 1 Gal 5 Gays in which one of the panel mentioned that he had an altercation with one of his coworkers when she complained that her husband had gotten hit on by some other guys and said "My husband's not a f–" The panel member told her, since her husband was African-American, "I would NEVER call your husband the N word, I would appreciate if you didn't use the F word" and he added that she apparently didn't understand the connection.

    Anyway I think that by means of these films and TV shows, I am now in the process of educating my friend and her family on what it truly means to be part of the LGBT community and being a straight ally.

  • 60. AnonyGrl  |  July 6, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    And, if I could be on the yacht with you, I'd let you! :)

  • 61. AnonyGrl  |  July 6, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    Wow!!!

    To start off, don't EVER worry about a long post like that, if you have that much good stuff to say! Yes, sometimes you just have to rant, and that is fine! I do it from time to time, and everyone here is very good about it.

    Thanks for continuing to plug away at the issue with friends and family, despite how hard it is at times. While it is true that sometimes you do need to just leave the room for a bit, I love the fact that you don't just forget about it, that you continue to find ways to address things with people who NEED to be educated! Thank you thank you thank you for that!!!

    I love that you are finding ways to get through to them that are not confrontational, but rather by sharing an experience. Well done!!

  • 62. Auntie Adrian  |  July 6, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    Many years ago, my wife and I lived next door to my brother and sister-in-law. When their first child was becoming mobile and their second was born, "The Question" came up of how do we explain "you two" to the kids? It was resolved by deciding not to try to hide anything from them, since it would be useless anyway – kids always figure these things out – and just tell them we loved each other and were married in our own way, that this made them lucky enough to have TWO aunts living next door. They later had a third child, and all three rode the same school bus. When the eldest was about 9, and the youngest about 6, a bunch of high schoolers on the bus began making comments about "queers" and "fags" and "gays" in very derogatory ways. My niece and nephews stood up and walked back to where the high school kids were sitting, and announced loudly "My aunts are gay, and they're nice people, so shut up!" The older kids looked astonished for a moment, and then one of them mumbled an apology while changing the conversation.

    In a similar vein, a different brother and sister-in-law separated prior to getting a divorce. The niece and nephew from that marriage were going into my parents' house as my wife and I were arriving one day. The niece asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said no. Then she asked my wife if she had a boyfriend, and my wife replied, "No, you know Aunt Adrian and I are married, so we don't have boyfriends." The niece looked puzzled for a few moments, then asked "But if you don't have boyfriends, who gives you stuff? Mommy says girls always have to have boyfriends to give them stuff." My wife and I exchanged glances and politely told her we were married so we gave each other stuff and didn't need a boyfriend to do it for us.

    These are not at all unusual examples of the "family values" being taught in this country. If there were a way to communicate this to the people who are afraid Marriage Equality will destroy marriage and ruin children's minds, maybe that would make a dent in the objections and fears.

    Then we get to the point that there are many Gods/Goddesses who are not homophobic, and many religions which accept and promote Marriage Equality. If one religion, or religious coalition, is allowed to define the civil term "marriage" by their religious precepts as the law of the land, their religion has effectively been "established" in violation of the First Amendment, while also violating the First Amendment by not allowing those religions which practice Marriage Equality free and equal protection under the law. Example: the Hindu God, Krishna, is bi-sexual in practice and Hinduism accepts bi- and transsexuals as valid parts of society. The "backward" country of Nepal now has three sexes on their census forms – male, female, and LGBT (though they use another, culturally appropriate term). What does it say about the "advanced civilization" of the US that we can't even accept Marriage Equality as the law of the land?

    (Rant over, sorry)

  • 63. Angela  |  July 6, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    Hey, yo, Adrian! (I couldn't resist, apologies! I know you probably get that often LOL)

    Anyway thank you for sharing those anecdotes! I for one appreciate it.

    I'm a writer, and I write currently a gay couple. One of the men has a brother who is extremely devout Russian Orthodox Christian. He has a wife and (at present) five children (when I'm done writing him he will have 7). I wrote a very interesting piece on my writing group's site, in which Danil (the brother who is gay) taking Evgeni (the straight) to see Brokeback Mountain. You can imagine how this extremely religious young man interpreted the film. Later, he has a dream in which HE is Danil, forced to live as he is, experiencing discrimination, hatred, fear, violence… and when he wakes up he realizes that Danil gets enough of that from outsiders, he doesn't need it from family too! At the time of writing this Evgeni had only one child, a four-year-old deaf boy. He decided to finally tell the boy the truth about his uncle and his boyfriend. He had a difficult time with it at first, wondering just how to put it into sign language and still explain things comprehensively. Finally he decided to simply say exactly what your next-door bro/sis-in-law said, that Danil and his boyfriend loved each other, "the same way your Mama and I love each other." Because he was so young and hadn't been educated about it before, Slava (the little boy) didn't really care :) Evgeni's wife was concerned about telling her son the truth about his uncle, but Evgeni pointed out that it was better he hear it from THEM, than to hear it from an outside source who would surely be critical of the couple and homosexuality.

    I can post a link to the writing if anyone is interested.

  • 64. Angela  |  July 6, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    Awww it's my pleasure AnonyGirl and btw thank you for your previous welcome message on the other blog post. I did reply to it but it hasn't shown up so I thought I just couldn't reply to posts. Now seeing that I can…

    Yes that is exactly what I wanted to do for my friends. I think religion and politics can be a dangerous tightrope for friends if they share opposing views. So I showed them movies/tv shows with those themes so that they could see what exactly they are opposing. The media is a powerful thing as we've discovered. The film Braveheart may have had MAJOR historical inaccuracies, but it sure helped Scotland gain a bit more freedom/independence that would not have occured otherwise, didn't it?

    I have some other anecdotes of similar relation to talk about now that I realize it.

    I visited my brother a few years ago. I was reading Scott Hamilton's autobiography "Landing It: My Life On & Off The Ice." When I told my brother what I was reading, he got a grotesque look on his face and said "Isn't he gay?" I stared at him and burst out laughing. I said "No, he's not." He thought he was, not sure if it's because he has a high voice or because he's a skater or both… Anyway I pointed out a passage in the book which relayed Scott's opinions on the LGBT community. For a long time he was just as disgusted as my brother was, until he discovered that a lot of people who helped him achieve his dreams, who made him the great skater he was, who he considered dear friends, were gay. He was shocked and disgusted, but upon reflection, he thought, "What am I supposed to do when they come to meet me at the shows (Stars On Ice)? Just ignore them and never talk to them again?" (that's almost a direct quote there) and he realized he needed to change his attitude, because he'd known these people for YEARS BEFORE they came out to him. I told my brother this, and he said "I would never have talked to them again." That really made me sad.

    A few years later, my brother and his wife were expecting their first child, and were debating on names and decor of the nursery. Chrissy wanted to have purple curtains in the room, because she didn't know the gender of the baby and wanted to keep it neutral. My brother FORBADE it because he believed the purple curtains would "make their son gay" if they had a boy. They discussed names, as I said. Chrissy loved the name Tristan, and he hated it because it "sounded gay." I told Chrissy it was a beautiful name, but would never name my boy that, not for the same reason, but for a more RATIONAL reason (if you consider this rational LOL which it really isn't) because of the meaning of the name and the origins and legend of Tristan and Isolde and their story and so on. Just seems bad luck to me LOL BUT I do adore that name :) Anyway my reason seems more "intellectual" than my brother's, doesn't it? *wink*

    They had a girl btw, and I actually hope that she ends up being lesbian just to teach him a lesson.

    I know my sis-in-law isn't exactly educated either; she thinks homosexuality is a big joke, she literally LAUGHS when someone comes out, be they fictional or real and no matter whether the situation is actually humorous or serious. So I decided to try to get her to be less prejudiced. I know she likes American Idol, so I took that opportunity to share something with her. Long before Adam Lambert came out, I told her he was gay. She asked me how I knew, I said "Cause my friend David dated him." I never even knew HE was gay! He usually protected himself against that stigma, being a male figure skater and gay. He said a lot of people made rude comments and assumptions about his sexuality and proclaimed to me that he was "NOT" (he used caps). He became busy over the years and we briefly reconnected, and I still thought he was straight. When he told me he was skating to Brokeback Mountain's score, I commended him :) I told him it took a lot of GUTS to be a straight guy skating to that music. A few years later with Adam Lambert on Idol, LOL he said on Facebook "I can't believe the guy I once dated is now an Idol Finalist!" I wrote to him DAVEY WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? I felt so foolish for what I said earlier LOL. Anyway that's how I discovered that he and Adam Lambert were gay, before Adam publicly came out.

    (would you believe I ain't done yet?)

  • 65. Angela  |  July 6, 2011 at 8:01 pm

    (I just feel so AT HOME here! I think that's why I'm writing so many things!)

    On a slightly related note, talking about Christianity and what evils it has done in its name throughout history, I was watching the show The Dead Zone once again with my friend and her daughter. This happened before the episode w the transgender/lesbian couple. There is an episode in the first season in which the main character gets stuck in a small rural town where the residents live in fear and have extremely conservative Christian beliefs. The main character actually is about to be burned at the stake for WITCHCRAFT. Literally. And this takes place in the year 2006! Of course he is saved at the LAST POSSIBLE minute but still it is no less disturbing that this entire town was about to do this horrendous act on someone who seemed "Satanic" purely for the fact that he claimed to have psychic powers (which he does of course), had a copy of ACDC's Greatest Hits in his car, and an x-ray of his own skull taken before their arrival in the town (he suffered a previous head injury which left him in a coma, and recently awoke and continued to receive follow-up care). At the end of the episode, I commented aloud, "Mankind has done some terrible things in the name of religion." My friend's daughter had NO CLUE what I meant. I would have gone into all the atrocities but didn't have enough time LOL. What unnerved me was that the message of the episode was completely lost on her. Eesh. But I think she fell asleep during it anyway (she wasn't feeling well as I recall).

    Anyway, that's my two cents, and thanks for letting me deposit them! *GRIN*

  • 66. Jordan  |  July 6, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    Thank you for sharing that story, Angela. That's actually pretty heartwarming. I'm glad that Evgeni was honest and open with Slava; it was very encouraging.

    I like the idea of trying to translate the concept of homosexuality to someone without knowing the words. You can't use the slang terms, that often hold that pejorative, insulting conotation. You have to break it down on what it really means:

    "He's like- what's the word? 'Gay'. 'Homosexual.' 'Ninny'."

    "I don't understand that word."

    "He loves his- the other guy. He loves a guy."

    "I really like my friends, too. Like a brother."

    Then, "No, no he 'loves' him, like you 'love your wife'. He LOVES him."

    "Oh. He LOVES him. I understand now."

    Perhaps that should be another commercial idea?

  • 67. Jordan  |  July 6, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    Part 1

    I know it's still a very specific situation, but I still want to point out that people in same sex relationships, even after DADT is repealed, will still have a very rough time that their opposite sex counterparts will not have.

    They will not receive basic allowance for housing. They will not rate family separations allowance. They will not be reimbursed for dependent travel expenses. They will not rate spousal protection benefits after retirements. They can't provide medical for their spouses at all. Their spouses will be treated as 'others' and constantly suspect if they live with them on base housing, which they do not rate from their spouse alone (would only happen if they have a biological or adopted child which they prove they pay %51 for- can't be joint custody). And if you're both servicemembers (like I am) you will get no preference in duty stations that straight married couples do (which is why my friends, who are married, both got sent to New Orleans, while my fiance and I got separated by 1,800 miles).

  • 68. Angela  |  July 6, 2011 at 9:07 pm

    You're welcome and thank you for your comments on it! I haven't finished this yet but I plan on "testing" Evgeni's loyalty the same day (the day after they see the movie, the very day Evgeni apologizes and makes up with his brother and tells him he will forever be an undying supporter). It takes place around the holidays, since the film was released about Christmastime here. I plan on having the entire family go on an outing to a fairground for a Christmas display. They have a bonfire/restaurant there. I plan on having Danil's boyfriend being openly affectionate to him, and receiving snide comments by people, especially people with children. Evgeni will, for the very first time, STAND UP for his brother and boyfriend, pointing out to the gentleman that makes such comments, "You just kissed your wife about five minutes ago, why can't they kiss each other?" or something to that effect :)

    I've always supported LGBT rights, long before Brokeback Mountain came out. But when I went to see it, it had much more of an impact on me than I ever thought possible. It wasn't necessarily the film itself, but of how I FELT when I went to the theater to see it. I'm getting tears in my eyes recalling how I felt, actually. First, I NEVER thought that this particular area would EVER show that film because of its supposed "politics." This area is a very conservative one. When I saw that it was being released in a theatre near me, I asked my mother if she was going to that town the next day, Super Bowl Sunday 2006. She responded that yes, she would. I asked if she could drop me off at the mall so I could see a movie. Because I'm partially blind I obviously cannot drive myself, and at the time I did not have the state services so I had to rely on family for transportation. Anyway, mom casually asked what I was seeing. Self-consciously, I said "Brokeback Mountain." She stared at me and said "Gay cowboys…" I said "Yeah." (at the time of course, despite having done research and making MANY friends online because of it, I thought that was what it was about!)

    The next day, I went with my mom and stepdad to the town where the movie was playing. They would drop me off at the mall and pick me up later. My stepdad, SEVERE homophobe, asked what I was seeing, and I KNEW mom would be discreet cause if he knew what I was seeing he would most likely have thrown me out of the house (I was 23 but still). I told him "Nanny McPhee." To this day, he STILL thinks that's what I saw and I'm in no hurry to tell him otherwise LOL!

    When I went into the theater to get my ticket, I felt so self-conscious and nervous, that I purposely WAITED until literally EVERYONE in the ticketing area was gone before I told the ticketer what movie I was seeing. And I said it very softly too. I never in my life expected to be so self-conscious, but I feared being labeled as lesbian because I was seeing a "gay movie." To this day I'm ASHAMED of those feelings. It only served to increase as I went to the theater and sat down. It was, of course, virtually empty. I thought I was the only one. All of a sudden, a young girl ran up to me calling my name. Turns out she was my sister's friend's daughter! I was HORRIFIED! But she smiled and said hello and said she recognized me and wanted to see how I was doing. Then she left. My heart was pounding SO hard and fast at being recognized in the theater for that movie.

    I watched the movie with two perspectives. I'd been writing Danil for 4 years. With the various events in his life, I thought the movie would have a profound impact on him, especially after reading the experiences of those who saw it. Like I said, I didn't expect to see it until it was released on DVD, and I wanted to write Danil seeing it right away. So I spoiled myself with the ending. I wanted to know exactly what to write. Thankfully before I could write anything, the movie came to the theater here. Anyway, I watched the movie through my own perspective, and through Danil's. It is the overall feeling of self-consciousness and insecurity that inspired Evgeni's dream. I came home and was so emotionally effected by the film that I was literally physically EXHAUSTED. I came home and slept for 6 and a half hours!

    I posted about my experience online and asked my recently-acquired friends to forgive me for my feelings of shame and fear and self-consciousness. One of them replied, "You don't need to apologize. Now you know how your character feels every moment of every day of his life."

    It took a while, but I finally managed to write this piece, and now I feel compelled to share it with you all. I hope you enjoy it.
    http://anyaangie.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=pa

  • 69. Angela  |  July 6, 2011 at 9:22 pm

    Awwww :(

    Shows exactly how far we have to go for FULL equality. Those "little things" (things the media doesn't seem to mention) add up to an overall whole of distance between LGBTs and straights. Very sad.

  • 70. Angela  |  July 6, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    Where did my replies go????? Oh no not again!!!!! *cries* Worked hard on those!

  • 71. Angela  |  July 6, 2011 at 9:36 pm

    PHEW never mind guys I’m sorry I see them now I guess this site isn’t what I’m used to appearance-wise!

  • 72. Jordan  |  July 6, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    Part 2

    Govy computer freaked- sorry for the parts and lag. To elaborate (yes, it gets worse), I'll give an example through a fight my gunny sergeant and I had the other day. One of our Marines elected on an audit all his death benefits and elections to be his fiancee (legitimate opposite sex marriage pending, of course). Gy interpreted the order governing the death benefits to say they must go to family only. Because he was electing someone other than family (he hasn't married her yet, so she doesn't count as a spouse), he needed to be counseled, and a letter would need to be sent to the mother/father telling them they're not the primary elections (which is wrong, but he had convinced himself for a good thirty minute argument). He was correct, however, in that the Person Authorized Direct Disposition (PADD) had to be a family member. (What that is: Some states laws supercede your burial intentions- that includes your superceding your will- even a military one. To close that loophole, the PADD is someone who you elect in your family to ensure your body is carried and deposed according to your wishes, and possibly some personal affects). Because this HAS to be a family member, it cannot be the fiancee.

  • 73. Jordan  |  July 6, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    Final Part

    This fight is important because, 1) I CANNOT elect my future husband as a spouse as long as the government doesn't consider him my family, and 2) Gy was determined to ensure that we resisted listing the fiancee to the point of breaching privacy act laws because he didn't consider her family. A civil union, I suspect, wouldn't have made much a difference. And that's the kind of drama we'll have to deal with until there is full marriage equality in the military.

  • 74. Jordan  |  July 6, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    Damn, I wanted to edit the above comment and clarify: Rough time for same-sex couples *IN THE MILITARY. Hope that clarifies where I was going with all that in case it wasn't already obvious.

  • 75. AnyaAngie  |  July 6, 2011 at 11:14 pm

    You know what's funny? A few years ago I planned on having my gay couple marry in a ceremony in VT, and their honeymoon? A self-sailed catamaran trip through the CARIBBEAN! Came up w some romantic ideas too.

    Inspired by a show on Travel Channel, I saw a little-known Mexican resort. You have to hike to it, it's near Cancun. There's waterfalls and I think Aztec ruins and stuff, and naturally a GORGEOUS beach. Well, I thought of a beautiful romantic idea:

    Peter awakens Danil in the middle of the night when they are staying in the resort on shore. He tells him to close his eyes and they go outside. They go to the beach, and undress. They wade into the ocean, Danil still has his eyes closed, and they wade until just after Danil can no longer stand and touch the ocean floor. They're in the open ocean, and Peter, standing behind him, tells him to open his eyes.

    Danil sees the sky, with a full moon, and the stars, reflected in the ocean before him. He'd never seen anything like it. The two share a passionate kiss, overwhelmed by the beauty of the sky and ocean symetrically reflected.

    I also plan on the two discovering a sunken Spanish galleon (there are tons of them still undiscovered you know!) complete w treasure!

    They chronicle the trip which lasts from late April to late August :D and record many moments on video and photographs. They take their cells only for emergencies so they have almost complete solitude to enjoy their honeymoon together. *sigh* Romantic huh?

    That's for my story; not sure I could come up w commercial ideas as good as Anony's!!! Those are amazing sweetie!

  • 76. AnonyGrl  |  July 7, 2011 at 11:31 am

    Part 1

    Oh no! You have given me yet ANOTHER idea….

    A group of people standing around a water cooler are discussing what is wrong with gay marriage. As each speaks, the camera focuses on them, moving around the circle as the speaker changes.

    Man 1: Well, of course, marriage is about procreation. Gays can't have kids.

    Cut to a shot of a gay couple and their three young kids playing happily in the park. Cut back to the water cooler.

    Woman 1: OK, sure, yes.., they can have kids, I guess, but of course, no CHURCHES think they should get married, it is against the bible!

    Cut to a shot of the same gay couple emerging from a church while the minister and all the guests throw rice and cheer.

    Man 2: Fine, yes, ok… SOME churches will marry them. The important thing is that it redefines marriage!

  • 77. AnonyGrl  |  July 7, 2011 at 11:32 am

    Part 2

    Cut to series of quick shots of the same couple. They mow the grass, bandage a kid's knee, make school lunches, pay bills together, laugh, fold laundry etc. Cut back to the water cooler.

    Woman 2: Well, no.. that IS just like my marriage, but what is really important is that the PARTS just DON'T FIT.

    Cut to quick shot of the same family, dressed up and standing in front of a professional photographer's background while a camera flashes. They are obviously having fun together. Dads hold the youngest child, the other two are nestled in just the right spots between them to make the perfect family pic. Cut back to the group at the water cooler, showing all four looking towards 5th person off camera. Camera pans around to the final person in the group. It is one of the couple. He smiles at someone who then walks into frame. It is his husband. The husband takes his hand, and the guy looks at their clasped hands, wedding rings visible, then back to the group.

    Married man: (with a smile at the group, he raises their clasped hands up) In fact, the parts all fit just fine.

  • 78. AnonyGrl  |  July 7, 2011 at 11:35 am

    Part 3.

    They turn and go, leaving the group to watch them leave. As they walk away, hand in hand, the camera follows them and pans down to their hands where we see the wedding rings, and see that their hands fit together perfectly.

    A title comes up that reads "Support Marriage Equality"

  • 79. AnonyGrl  |  July 7, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    Part 1

    OK… one more…

    We see a series of very tight head shots, showing the following people telling their stories. They all look sad, concerned, upset, We cannot see any details of background or dress but the faces come from all walks of life.

    Older man: I wanted to, but they told me no.

    Younger man: I could lose my job.

    Middle aged woman: It's illegal where I live, even though I want to do the right thing.

    Middle aged man: We are fighting for the right. But so far, our freedoms are being denied.

    Two women together in frame.

    Woman 1: It's really not right;.

    Woman 2: They say it violates their religious rights if it becomes legal.

  • 80. AnonyGrl  |  July 7, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    Part 2

    The shots repeat, but pan out. Each holds a sign that says "I Support Marriage Equality".

    Middle aged man (in a Rabbi's outfit): What about MY religious rights?

    Older man (wearing priests robes): I support equality.
    Woman 1 (in some sort of religious garb) : God loves all his children.

    Middle aged woman: (wearing a minister's robe and a cross on a chain): I support equality.

    Younger man (in judge's robes): The religious objections mean that I can't even perform a civil marriage.

    Woman 2 (also in some sort of religious garb): And we support marriage equality.

    We see a shot of the whole group standing together, smiling, holding their signs.

    Voiceover: Support religious rights. Support Marriage Equality.

  • 81. Angela  |  July 7, 2011 at 9:48 pm

    Well done, Anony! More amazing ideas from you!!!

    Tomorrow I’m going to film my Testimony video. Wish me luck!

  • 82. AnonyGrl  |  July 8, 2011 at 8:50 am

    After re-reading the ones I wrote, this is the one I want to see actually produced.

  • 83. Sheryl, Mormon Mom  |  July 8, 2011 at 11:47 am

    This one would be very powerful. I do hope you are submitting all of them to the appropriate organizations.

    Another powerful one, can't remember if you've already done one of these, would be people having a discussion of how civil unions or domestic partnerships give same sex couples the same rights as straight couples. Then pan to scenes of the partner being denied access to his or her spouse in the hospital, or being denied health benefits, or having to pay extra for those benefits. Or, even being denied a domestic partnership because they don't live together. Make the public see that these things are not the same for same-sex couples as for straight couples.

  • 84. AnonyGrl  |  July 8, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    Good idea… let me think about that one for a bit and come back with something (it is the end of a LONG week here at work, and my head is about 30 seconds from exploding…).

    :)

  • 85. videos online&hellip  |  May 8, 2012 at 3:57 pm

    videos online…

    […]Prop 8 Trial Tracker » Moments that make voters care about marriage equality[…]…

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