Equality On TrialMy last day with P8TT: Reflections on the NOM tour, and what Dave Matthews might have to say about it

My last day with P8TT: Reflections on the NOM tour, and what Dave Matthews might have to say about it

October 7, 2010

By Adam Bink

Community/Meta NOM Exposed NOM Tour Tracker-California Right-wing Videos

By Adam Bink

As NOM’s California bus tour comes to a close, so must my time here managing P8TT/NTT (again), as I have to focus on some other election-related projects. So tomorrow will be my last day. Of course I’ll be around in the comments and occasionally do a piece, but the reins will be turned back over to Eden and the rest of the P8TT front-page crew. In the future, you can continue to always find me at my home blog, OpenLeft.com. And I’ll be guesting through Election Day at Crooks and Liars, a popular vlog (video blog), with a special focus on the 2010 elections and progressive, pro-equality candidates. Lastly, if you really, really like me, my Tweets can be fun and useful.

On a personal note, I’d just like to say that it’s been fun to be here. You all continue to wow me with your research, creativity, and passion. I hope you’ve enjoyed my stuff as well!

A couple reflections on the NOM tour. Back last month I rejoined P8TT quoting “we’re putting the band back together!” from Blues Brothers. As the NOM Tour and I come to a close, I have another musical reference I’d like to use. As I was thinking about how much of a disaster this tour was, and the close to it, I thought of a song titled “The Last Stop” by my favorite band, the Dave Matthews Band. The song (as I interpret it) is about religion and how it often drives one to violence.

There are two lyric stanzas I want to pull out as I feel they relate to NOM. Here’s the first:

You’re righteous, so righteous

You’re always so right

Go ahead and dream

Go ahead believe that you are the chosen one

I think it describes the attitude of NOM/Vota Tus Valores folks very well, don’t you?

Although I think the “Summer for Empty Parking Lots Marriage” tour was pretty religious, particularly because more events were held in houses of worship, the undertones of religion felt pretty strong on the California tour as well. I say that because throughout this tour we saw Alfonso, Jennifer and their dour band of followers tell Latinos what their values are, tell religious people what Genesis really says, and tell us all what our values should be and therefore where our vote should go, because that is how they interpret it. And they’re always so righteous, so right, always the chosen ones.

I don’t doubt they’ll think “well, Adam’s just imposing his righteous values on us!” Not quite. I, on the other hand (and notice I didn’t say “we”, because I don’t presume to speak for everyone as they do), believe in expanding equality and policies that don’t hurt others while spreading equality, such as the freedom to marry for same-sex couples. That’s different than eliminating rights and going out of my way to do so. That’s different than using my righteous attitude to take away the rights of others. No one’s “traditional” marriage has been damaged, here. I’m just a regular guy trying to spread a little more love and a little more equality without taking away anything from anyone, not any kind of chosen one bringing my beliefs to bear on everyone else.

The other lyric stanza I want to pull out relates to the news of violence, and the response of NOM’s own Maggie Gallagher (among others) to it on this tour:

Fools are we

If hate’s the gate to peace

This is the last stop

This is the last stop on the tour, but it’s not the last stop for the hatred and bullying that’s propagated by NOM’s actions. As I’ve written in the past few days, they are no different than these bullies — or the adults who influence them — and that’s part of why I keep doing what I do, and hope you will, too. Dave Matthews wrote about peace in the war sense, but I believe it applies in this environment: hate is not the gate to peace if peace is where everyone is heterosexual and in a nuclear family. People are different and must be treated equally, and the sooner NOM learns that, the more peace we’ll have — not just in schools between heterosexual kids and LGBT kids, but in our nation as a whole.

It’s a NOM eat NOM world Guest post: National Organization for Marriage,...

600575 Comments2010-10-07+20%3A30%3A11Adam+Bink

1. Mark M. (Seattle) | October 7, 2010 at 6:35 am

Thank you for all you've done and continue to do Adam. You are AWESOME!
2. Lesbians Love Boies | October 7, 2010 at 6:38 am

ditto Adam. I have been reading OpenLeft and Crooks & Liars. Good luck.
3. Lesbians Love Boies | October 7, 2010 at 6:39 am

and scribin
4. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 6:40 am

Thanks LLB!
5. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 6:39 am

Thanks Mark. Likewise!
6. Ann S. | October 7, 2010 at 6:42 am

Thank you, Adam! I've added OpenLeft and CrooksandLiars to my blog reader.
7. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 6:54 am

Sounds great! They're both great blogs, I think you'll like them.
8. Rhie | October 7, 2010 at 6:43 am

SEcond this!
9. Sagesse | October 7, 2010 at 9:30 am

Adam, next time, please don't wait for a lame, useless tour to come back and visit. Not sure the team could stand another tour :).
10. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 12:36 pm

Haha. Will keep that in mind.
11. Kathleen | October 7, 2010 at 6:39 am

Adam, Thanks for all your hard work during the tour
12. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 6:40 am

Likewise. Thanks for all the digging re Los Angles, very useful.
13. Ronnie | October 7, 2010 at 6:45 am

super ditto… ; ) …..Ronnie
14. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 6:55 am

Thanks, Ronnie.
15. Mark M. (Seattle) | October 7, 2010 at 6:42 am

Any idea if we will be getting the last of the videos Arisha mentioned? I am anxious to see the interviews with the latino youth….want to hear what their take on equality is.
16. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 6:56 am

I just checked, and it's still uploading.
17. Mark M. (Seattle) | October 7, 2010 at 7:03 am

SMOOCHES!!!
18. Alan E. | October 7, 2010 at 6:44 am

Adam, I love you so much more knowing that DMB is your favorite band.
19. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 6:55 am

You just won the coveted Adam's Favorite Commenter of the Year award.
20. Bill | October 7, 2010 at 6:45 am

Your work has been an inspiration, Adam. Best to you.

Bill
21. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 6:57 am

Thanks a lot, Bill. It sounds cheesy, but all the passion I read here in the comments keeps me inspired, actually.
22. Alan E. | October 7, 2010 at 6:47 am

OT but the Blue Angels are practicing over San Francisco skies right now. I really want to shoot them down right now. I work near the Marina which is pretty much ground zero for their shows this weekend, although I'm sure the rest of the city can hear and feel them just as well as I can.
23. Mark M. (Seattle) | October 7, 2010 at 6:56 am

They shatter windows and freighten animals away from homes every year here in Seattle during 'Sea Fair'…I HATE the Blue Angels with a fevered passion!!
24. Elizabeth Oakes | October 7, 2010 at 11:13 am

I think the Angels are much less scary than the pirate guys on their fire engine wreaking havoc all Sea Fair week, but pick your poison I guess. 🙂
25. Rhie | October 7, 2010 at 2:07 pm

This year I think the sonic boom from the military plane took the prize. Some idiot flew into the restricted air space during Obama's visit and caused a military plane to fly from Portland to investigate.
26. Kathleen | October 7, 2010 at 7:14 am

I used to live in the flight path for the flyovers at Dodger Stadium. The B-2 "stealth bomber" may be stealth to radar but it's sure noisy and shakes the house so much it feels like an earthaquake! I lived on a hill, pretty close to the stadium, so by the time it was over my house it was pretty low and quite the eery sight. First you'd hear it in the distance, and then this huge bat winged aircraft would come into sight.
27. Mark M. (Seattle) | October 7, 2010 at 7:39 am

Freaky!
28. fiona64 | October 7, 2010 at 7:56 am

I used to work for the US Army's public affairs office at the Presidio of San Francisco, and every year during Fleet Week I would get the calls (I was the community relations officer at one point) complaining about the Navy flyovers.

I was always tempted to ask if they were calling the Army so that we could haul out the caissons and shoot them down.

Love,
Fiona
29. Chris in Lathrop | October 7, 2010 at 8:46 am

Fiona, I did AIT at Goodfellow AFB in San Angelo, TX. Outside company headquarters, we had an old anti-aircraft gun the Air Force took to be "just a tank." Twas too funny.
30. AndrewPDX | October 7, 2010 at 6:52 am

Thanks again Adam for keeping us up to speed on NOM's tours… I think we can take their footage and make a Field Guide to Empty Parking Lots.

Liberty, Equality, Fraternity
Andrew
31. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 7:01 am

HAHAHAHAHA
32. Rev. Will Fisher | October 7, 2010 at 7:01 am

Thanks Adam!!!!
33. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 7:16 am

Sure!
34. JonT | October 7, 2010 at 7:06 am

Subscribing as usual. Thanks for your posts Adam – will look forward to reading more from you in the future!
35. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 7:17 am

You bet, and thanks for your participation here.
36. Ķĭŗîļĺę& | October 7, 2010 at 7:25 am

NOM's email about homosexuals’ attacks on them poor victims…
In the letter they talk about some complaints that allegedly were thrown out (last paragraph of the quote below, the one in bold). Does anybody know anything about those complaints that were thrown out? Is that true? Was that reported somewhere?

And yesterday, Evan Wolfson and his New York-based "Freedom to Marry" group launched yet another campaign of lies, accusing NOM of skirting campaign finance laws and refusing to play by the rules.

Nothing could be further from the truth. We know the rules in every state. We abide by them. But we will never be silenced by lies, baseless attacks and frivolous complaints.

In New Hampshire, the assistant attorney general smacked down a former state Democratic Party chair who tried to silence our voice. Their complaints in Iowa were just thrown out as baseless. In every state, they file frivolous complaints, only to have them thrown out one after the other.

— ♂K♥F♂
37. Lesbians Love Boies | October 7, 2010 at 7:36 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX_qAtwMDFk
38. Ronnie | October 7, 2010 at 7:44 am

This is what I have to say to you NOM….National Organization for Morons…..<3…Ronnie:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqjiQCNMaDY
39. Alan E. | October 7, 2010 at 9:10 am

We know the rules in every state. We abide by them.

Except when those activist judges try and tell us how the law applies to them.
40. Elizabeth Oakes | October 7, 2010 at 11:16 am

Or when they say we have to name our donors.
41. Alan E. | October 7, 2010 at 9:13 am

HAHAHAHAHA

For decades, they ran virtually unopposed on the political scene as they try to impose their same-sex marriage agenda on the nation.

I'll start by pointing out that the sentence is in two tenses.

Secondly, WTF are they smoking? The republican base has been adamantly opposed to us since the Reagan era, decades ago.
42. Alan E. | October 7, 2010 at 9:16 am

We knew these unfounded attacks would come

They are pretty sound and have a strong foundation. That's just their attempt to wave it all off (which unfortunately works with their base).
43. Alan E. | October 7, 2010 at 9:17 am

OOO "juvenile websites and trackers"

Are you going to take that Adam?
44. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 12:37 pm

Oh, now they've gone and done it.
45. Regan DuCasse | October 7, 2010 at 9:58 am

Yeah, I get Brian Brown's newsletters from NOM, and he said nothing about this tour.
But he's blasting Judge Walker as if Walker is corrupt and did something illegal with his Prop. 8 decision.

With what's going on in IA and this complaint regarding Wolfson, BB is going full bore towards libeling Walker. His hyperbole is to the nth degree, that's for sure.
46. RebeccaRGB | October 7, 2010 at 10:16 am

"In every state, they file frivolous complaints, only to have them thrown out one after the other."

Uh, yeah… *points to next blog post*
47. Richard A. Walter (s | October 7, 2010 at 7:34 am

You will be missed Adam.
48. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 7:37 am

Thanks, and I'm looking forward to reports on your wedding soon! The comment re Jewish faith the other day was interesting. I got into a fascinating discussion with my rabbi back home, actually.
49. Bob | October 7, 2010 at 7:55 am

Thanks Adam, your reply to Richard got me going, the part about you having a discusson with your rabbi back home….Glad more of us are having these discussions it's time to take back our places we left , and forge some new relationships

Especilally the people like mormon mom's on this site, it's all good. Cheers
50. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 12:38 pm

Yeah, definitely. I learned religious communities' pushback around that Jewish Standard newspaper issue. Very interesting.
51. fiona64 | October 7, 2010 at 7:57 am

All my best to you, Adam. Thanks for your reporting and for all of your hard work.

Love,
Fiona
52. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 12:38 pm

Thanks, Fiona.
53. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 8:08 am

Also, I always wanted to write a blog post with DMB music embedded in it. Thank you for humoring me.
54. Lesbians Love Boies | October 7, 2010 at 11:01 am

When we win, can you come up with a way to incorporate this song into your post : )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmEXbTHQwSw
55. Chris in Lathrop | October 7, 2010 at 8:52 am

Thank you, Adam, and indeed the whole NTT crew, for all your hard work, dedication, and especially your ability to stomach the hatred day in and day out without losing your humanity in the process. You are all heroes. Best of luck in your other projects!

Chris
56. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 12:38 pm

You bet. Onward!
57. Alan E. | October 7, 2010 at 9:24 am

I just got back from getting my flu shot at work. I was filling out the form when I noticed the Gender section. There were 3 options: M / F / TG. I got excited about it, but not many others around me shared in that excitement.
58. RebeccaRGB | October 7, 2010 at 10:24 am

Trying to hold back the urge to educate them that M, F, and TG are not mutually exclusive. (And strictly speaking, TG is not a gender.) At least somebody was trying.
59. Michelle Evans | October 7, 2010 at 11:00 am

Alan,

Haven't seen a form that specifies TG like that. And from my point of view as a trans person, I'm not sure if I would agree with putting that designation on a form. The reason I say this is because I am female, so I would check that off on a form like that, and would feel that having to identify as TG any time I filled out a form is an invasion of who I am.

This has also been discussed with regard to things like the use of public restroom facilities. People have often said that the solution is to simply make the restrooms unisex. Again, for myself, I feel a heck of a lot more comfortable using a female restroom, because, probably like most women, as a female I would not want to share these types of facilities with men.

So, yes, my friends here on the P8TT certainly know that I am TG, as I have never hidden that, but having to publicly identify that way any time I filled out a form, just doesn't seem right to me. I just want to be who I am, and that is female. Can't speak for the entire TG community on this issue, but I do know a lot of personal TG friends who would agree with my view.
60. Gregory in Salt Lake | October 7, 2010 at 12:50 pm

Thank you Michelle for your insights, always nice to hear from you! The restroom thing is puzzling to me…that is good information that women do not want to share restroom with men. I identify as gay or queer, and don't particularly like sharing restrooms with stinky mostly meat eating, beer guzzling men…ewww. However, I feel I would cause a scandal to use the woman's restroom….and I don't really care to do that anyway.. I like to use "family" restrooms when avail, More private too.

Alan, about flu shot form, glad to see they are trying. I just registered for a high level IS training class and on the form it listed Gender: M/F I thought about marking Q. In the actual training class the instructor invited feedback about the registration process. I asked why it asked for Gender M/F, where "Sex M/F" would be more accurate…the whole class was speechless, and instructor didn't even responds. Such is life….
61. RebeccaRGB | October 7, 2010 at 1:04 pm

My point exactly, Michelle. I just wish I could (have) explain(ed) it as well as you can/did. 🙂
62. Elizabeth Oakes | October 7, 2010 at 11:26 am

Keeping the community informed is critical in any movement, and you have done so much for us here and acquitted yourself more than honorably. Thanks Adam!
63. adambink | October 7, 2010 at 12:39 pm

Thank you very much for the kind words.
64. Elizabeth Oakes | October 7, 2010 at 1:12 pm

No, I insist, thank YOU. *visions of chipmunks*
65. Mom | October 7, 2010 at 1:11 pm

Hey Adam – I'm so proud of you and your writing – it comes right from your heart. Love, Mom P.S. now if you could just incorporate a little Rod Stewart from his Great American Songbook collection (kidding, really!).
66. adambink | October 8, 2010 at 3:50 am

Oh boy. Everyone, this is my mom. Treat her nice, hear!
67. Alan E. | October 8, 2010 at 4:02 am

Hi mom! (my mom posted on hear once while the trial was going on in January. very weird to see, I must say)
68. Kate | October 8, 2010 at 4:05 am

Not weird, Adam — LOVING. Would that all of our Moms were like yours. You're a lucky guy.
69. Alan E. | October 8, 2010 at 5:25 am

hear = here
70. Ann S. | October 8, 2010 at 5:39 am

Hear, hear!
71. Chris in Lathrop | October 8, 2010 at 3:44 pm

Hi Adam's Mom! You sound like a really classy lady! 🙂

OT – I've been wanting to post this all week, and here seems a pretty appropriate spot:

My family all get together once a month to keep the ties nice and strong. We got together just this past weekend.

Backing up, I credit my Mom with teaching me tolerance and respect for other people, no matter how they differ from me. It was she that told me in my youth that one doesn't have to go to church to be a good Christian, which led to my investigation of other religions. It was she to whom I came out of the broom closet when I joined my first coven. It was she who helped my Dad and brothers to understand my choice.

Invariably, we end up talking politics at our get-togethers. I don't remember what exactly we were discussing, because everything before became quite a blur. I already knew one brother was against marriage equality, but when I remarked, "At least it looks like Prop 8 is going to fall," the silence was deafening. I ended up asking whether my family believed it was right to vote on people's civil rights. Twice. Never did get an answer on that. What I did get blew me away. My Mom stepped right up to me and said she doesn't support marriage equality because that's not how it is in the Bible. The one member of my family (besides my darling wife!) who I thought I could count on to think beyond that book.

I want to discuss it further, but I don't know quite how. As vehemently as she said it, I doubt I can say anything to change her mind. It also calls into question for me her view of my marriage. I don't know how she can reconcile denying LGBT people the right to marry based on that book, yet affirm my marriage which had nothing to do with it either. I am so angry and frustrated at her right now, and for the first time in my life, I don't know how to deal with my own mother.

Thanks for listening!
72. fiona64 | October 8, 2010 at 4:03 am

Hi, Adam's Mom!

I <3 Rod Stewart, too.

Best from a straight ally, and much love to boot,
Fiona
73. Kathleen | October 8, 2010 at 4:42 am

Hi Adam's mom. Glad you dropped by!
74. Michael | October 7, 2010 at 9:16 pm

Thank you, Adam, for all your help and information. It's been great to read. The shrill anti-gay pressure group NOM is desperate. $1,000,000 on a barely seen tour, I mean farce. $200,000 for commercials. How many meals could $1,200,000 buy? Or clothes? Or shoes? Or school lunches? Or retraining for the unemployed? Or school supplies for the needy? Any group which claims to be Christian, yet ignores Christ's commandment to help the needy, will be smited and knocked down by God. They cannot keep lying about God, spending money on promoting homophobia and causing suicides in our young. God will only put up with it for so long. You can be sure that their downfall is coming and God will make sure it happens. What will strident anti-gay activist Gallagher do for a real job then?
75. Adam Bink » Blog Ar&hellip | October 11, 2010 at 8:04 am

[…] tour in support of Carly Fiorina for Senate. I posted some reflection thoughts on the tour here. In addition, all coverage of the California tour, including all of my posts on the tour and […]